Memories
by JantoFan
Summary: Vince goes missing, and a year later Howard starts talking to a stranger in a bar about him. No longer just a One-Shot! Rating upped to 'T'. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Boosh, and never will. Damn.**

**I'm not entirely sure where this came from, i wrote it at school a few weeks ago when i was bored and forgot all about it. found it this morning so i thought i'd put it on here for you people to read!x**

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"Are you alright, mate?"

Howard looked up blearily at the man who had just spoken to him. He was in a bar, getting as drunk as possible.

On his own.

Again.

"M'fine." He muttered, downing whatever was in his glass. By this point he wasn't even sure what it was, just that it burned his throat and made his pain just that little bit easier to bear.

"Are you sure?" The stranger asked, sitting down next to him. "Is there anyone you want to call? You can borrow my phone, if you like."

Howard shrugged, staring into the depths of his now empty glass. "No. There's no one. Not any more. Not since…" he broke off, unable to even say his name.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the stranger enquired, gently.

"Vince."

"Boyfriend?"

"No. Not really. I mean, I always…but, no. Just my friend. My best friend…."

"Oh. What…what happened to him?"

"I don't know." Howard couldn't really focus on the other man's face, he was too drunk for that, but he thought he looked concerned, so he continued. "He went out to Topshop a year ago, never came back…" his eyes welled up with tears as the memory of that day returned to him…

* * *

"_Howard? Howard? Howaaared? HowardHowardHoward…"_

"_What is it, Vince?!"_

_Howard regretted his outburst instantly when Vince's face fell slightly. He hadn't meant to snap, it was just that he was having a really bad day. Someone had out-bid him on an online auction for some rare Jazz records, and he was missing paperclip #6 from stationary village._

"_Will you drive me to Topshop in the van?"_

"_What? Vince, I need to run the shop."_

"_But it's raining. Oh, go on Howard. Please?" Vince arranged his face into the little pout that Howard normally couldn't resist. The Jazz Maverick felt himself waver slightly, but then he shook his head and looked away from Vince. The little electro poof knew exactly how to wrap Howard around his little finger. But he was Howard Moon, man of action! He wasn't a chauffer!_

"_Cant you just go tomorrow?"_

"_But the sale ends TODAY. Go on, Naboo's not even here; he'd never know if you shut up the shop for a couple of hours. Please?"_

"_No, Vince."_

_Vince glared at him. "Fine! I'll just walk there in the rain. Would that make you happy?"_

"_Ecstatic."_

_Vince huffed and went over to the door, grumbling under his breath about his hair._

"_Be back before closing!" Howard called after him. "Or I'll come at you like a northern bullet."_

"_Whatever."_

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

_When Vince hadn't returned by closing time, Howard felt very annoyed._

_When he still hadn't returned by dinnertime, the annoyance became tainted by a twinge of anxiety._

_When he still hadn't returned by the following afternoon, that feeling gave way to full blown panic, and Howard called the police._

_Howard had expected a lot of people to join in the search for Vince, after all he was very popular. But when the police appealed for assistance, only about 10 people showed up to help. 10. Out of the whole of Camden. Howard supposed that the type of people who dumped you for playing a bad gig weren't the sort to put themselves out when you weren't even there to see it._

_He took to sleeping in Vince's bed, breathing in the scent of Vince's hair on the pillows, then he hated himself a couple of weeks later when it stopped smelling like Vince and started smelling like him. _

_After 3 months of searching, the police had given up. They'd still kept the case open, but they were no longer allocating specific officers to the search. As if this was a cue they had all been waiting for, the few friends of Vince's who had started to help began to give up, one by on, until eventually there was just Howard and Leroy._

_It wasn't until Vince had been missing 6 months that Leroy gave up too. "I'm sorry Howard, mate," he'd told him. "But it's been half a year. They've had officers all over the country looking for him. It's not like he's suddenly gonna come strolling down the high street, you know? He's gone."_

_But Howard couldn't accept that. Vince had to be alive, he'd know if he wasn't, surely? But with every day that passed, a little more hope died within Howard. He was constantly on the move around the country, sticking up posters, appealing in newspapers and on the internet, but no responses ever came in, no sightings ever reported. It was during this time that Howard started drinking. At first it had been easy, he wasn't used to alcohol having never had more than a few pints at a time, so it took very little time to forget everything for those few, blissful hours until the booze wore off._

_But as time passed, it became harder and harder to reach the point when he could forget about Vince. So he had to keep drinking more and more alcohol, and he had to drink it more and more often. Now he couldn't even get through the day without it._

_Then Naboo had started making the situation worse, going on about how he needed more people in the shop, how they should advertise for a new flat mate. It was as if Vince had never even existed. _

* * *

"He went missing exactly a year ago this morning." Howard informed the man. He looked over at him, suddenly aware that he was burdening a total stranger with all of this. "Sorry. You don't need to hear about me…"

"No. its fine, honestly." he glanced at his now empty pint glass. "Look, I need to go, are you sure you don't want to call anyone? What about those guys you said you lived with, Naboo or Bollo?"

"No. they don't care. No one cares…" Howard gazed into the distance. Bollo had never really liked him, even when Vince was around. Now Naboo didn't even bother with him. Howard thought he would probably kick him out if he wasn't afraid Howard would do something stupid…

The man beckoned over the barmaid. "Watch him, yeah? Make sure he gets home safe."

Howard felt an absurd rush of affection for the stranger. Not in a way Vince used to say was creepy, the sort that got him featured in the Guardian, but a rush of genuine gratitude. This man didn't know him from a rock in the street, yet he was making sure he would be ok. Maybe the world wasn't such a terrible place after all…

* * *

The man looked back at the drunken northerner as he left the pub. _Poor bloke…_ his thoughts were interrupted by a girl grabbing his arm.

"There you are! Come on, we're gonna be late for the psychiatrist. It's, like, a 20 minute drive!"

"Sorry. I got talking to this bloke, about his friend who went missing…"

"Oh. Bit of a sore point for you, yeah?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

She frowned. "What for?"

"Being there for me. The bloke…oh shit, I never even asked his name…that man, he was so lost, so…broken. He had nobody, he just had his memories. When you found me, I didn't even have that. I don't know what I would have done…"

It had been 4 months since he had been found by the side of the road, with no memory of anything that had gone on before. Stacy had been a nurse at the hospital he had been put in, and she had been helping him ever since. He had even moved in with her, now.

She nudged him playfully in the ribs. "Hey, what're friends for? You've got foam in your moustache, by the way."

"Oh, shit." He squinted at his reflection in a car on the side of the road, rubbing his upper lip. He considered his reflection. He was, he thought, almost the exact opposite of that man in the bar. His blue eyes were huge, his nose just a little too large and crooked. And yet somehow, the look still worked. He was constantly getting hit on by women and men wherever he went (less so the men now he had let his stubble grow out and cut his hair. What had been long, black hair had now become short and mousey brown, gelled into cute little spikes at the front).

"Come on, we'll be late!" Stacy insisted, tugging his arm. "Dr. Frisby said you were making excellent progress! I mean, you already remembered your name, didn't you? A few more sessions and you could remember something else!"

"Yeah." It was the only thing he could remember from his old life. Just a name.

"Come on, Howard!" she said, tugging him again. For some reason, his mind jumped to the man in the bar, but he blinked that away.

"Ok, calm down!" he laughed.

The two friends got into their car, and drove away, not looking back.

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Not sure this really works, but I hope so. Just a one shot for now, might turn it into a full story if people like it, and I have the time.

**Click the review button – you know you want to ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Almost every review I got for 'Memories' wanted a continuation, so in celebration of getting into my university course I'm making it into a story!**

**I wasn't quite sure how to write about Vince, seeing as he thinks he's called Howard, and I didn't want to confuse it by having 2 people called Howard. I think I'm gonna still call him 'Vince' (obviously everyone else is still gonna call him Howard), but I've put his name in bold (which is to mean that he doesn't know he's Vince yet.). Hope it's not confusing! If it is, does anyone have any ideas as to what I could do instead?**

**xx**

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Howard's POV

"Howard?"

Howard groaned and opened his eyes, blinking to try and clear his blurred vision. His head was killing him, but he didn't hate the pain as much as he used to. In fact, he had even grown to find it slightly comforting. He couldn't even remember a day he had woken up and not been hung-over. "Hey Naboo." He said blearily when he managed to focus on the man in front of him.

"Howard, me and Bollo are gonna go open up the shop, we've got…um…interviews about the shopkeeper's position…"

"Right. So, you've given up on him as well, have you?"

"Howard, we need to move on, yeah? I miss Vince, of course I do, but I have rent and stuff to pay. Talking of rent…um…since you're not working in the shop anymore, you're not really paying your way…" he shuffled uncomfortably.

Howard laughed mirthlessly. "What, you gonna kick me out?"

"Howard, you need to get a grip on things. It's been a year. Do you really think Vince would have wanted this for you?"

"I think Vince **wants** me to find him. Stop talking like he's dead!"

"Howard…"

"No, Naboo! New flatmate, new shopkeeper; you're acting like he was never even here!" he felt tears spring up in his eyes again. He got up. "I need a drink."

"Howard, its 8:30 in the morning!" Naboo called after him.

"So?" with that, he grabbed his jacket and walked out of the flat, not even caring he was wearing the same clothes he had had on for the past 30 hours.

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Vince's POV

"Howard? Feel yourself coming back to me, back to the room. I'm going to count backwards from ten. Allow yourself to slowly wake up, a little more with every number, and the when I reach one, I want you to open your eyes. Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one. Ok, open your eyes for me, Howard."

**Vince **opened his eyes slowly. He looked around to see Dr. Frisby watching him closely. "How was it? Did I say anything new?"

"Not exactly. Mostly just stuff we've already covered. Although you did mention something new; you also spoke about someone who was lost…" he checked his notes. "Vince. Who's that?"

For a moment, he was completely baffled. He had no idea who Vince was. Then he remembered. "Oh. That's just…I was talking to a man in a bar about his friend Vince. That's nothing to do with my life."

The doctor looked a little disappointed. "Ok, well that's all we have time for this session. I want you to make another appointment with Glenda; I think 3 days time should do it. We don't want to risk wearing you out."

**Vince **agreed, and walked out of the room. Privately, he thought that if he had been having these sessions almost every day for the past 4 months and all he remembered was his name, there was a good chance he wouldn't remember anything else; 'worn out' or not. Stacy stood up and went over to him as he entered the small, cramped waiting room.

"How was it, hun?"

"Still nothing new. Apparently I was talking about that man from the bar…"

"Aww, poor Howard." She gave him a hug. "That really struck a chord with you, didn't it?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking…what about those people from **my **old life? Do you think they're looking for me? Do you think they're missing me?"

She sighed. "Probably."

"I could have a mother, a father, a girlfriend, a boyfriend…any number of people could be missing me and I have no _fucking_ clue who they are!" he punched the back of a chair in frustration, earning him a disapproving look from an old woman in the waiting room.

"Hey! Calm down!" she rubbed his back soothingly, like he was a baby.

"Sorry Stace." He sighed. "I just wish I could remember more, you know? An address, a school, a book club…I just have this feeling that if I found something from my old life, I'd remember more, you know?"

"I know. Come on, book your appointment with Glenda and then we'll go home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Vince **breathed in the scent of the flat as he walked through the front door. It smelled of perfume and cheap incense. Not the nicest of smells, but it smelled like home. He collapsed onto the sofa.

"Hey, Howard?"

"Hmm?" he looked up at Stacy.

"I'm going out again now; I got a date with Rick again. You gonna be ok on your own?"

He smiled at her. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine. You have fun."

"Cool. Dunno when I'll be back, don't forget not to lock the door or I'll have to wake the whole building again yelling!"

He laughed, remembering the last time that had happened. One of the neighbours had actually threatened to decapitate him with an old umbrella! "Yeah, alright. See you later, or tomorrow depending on how well it goes!"

"Oi! Don't be cheeky." With a wink, she left the flat.

The laughter died almost instantly from **Vince**'s face. Whatever he may have told Stacy, he did hate being alone. When he was alone he tended to think about things, and the gaping blackness where his life should be terrified him.

Suddenly, on a whim, he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door, running down to the pavement.

"Taxi!"

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Howard's POV

Howard sat in the corner of the pub, where he'd been sitting all day, watching the people who came in. People laughing with their friends. Couples. The occasional work outing. He didn't know why he came to these places, almost everyone here reminded him of Vince. But he couldn't sit drinking alone at the flat, he didn't trust himself not to…what, exactly? Hurt himself? _Kill_ himself? Maybe not, but still…if Vince _was _dead… Howard honestly couldn't remember his life without Vince; obviously not counting this past, hellish year. He and Vince had been a whole; he did broken and depressed, Vince did sunshine. That was how it worked. Without sunshine, broken and depressed was too much to bear.

"Um…hi."

Howard looked up. "Hi?"

The man looked embarrassed. "Oh, sorry, you probably don't remember me. I was in here the other day; you were telling me about…Vince."

"Oh." Howard did remember. The stranger hesitated, clearly hoping to be invited to sit down. But Howard wasn't really in the mood for talking right now. "Sorry, I have to go." He said, draining his glass and standing up abruptly.

"Oh. Right, ok. Well…I hope you're ok?"

Howard flashed a genuine smile at the man. It surprised him, he never normally smiled anymore. But something about this guy…

"Yeah. Thanks."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Howard quietly let himself into the flat, a bottle of vodka tucked under his arm. He had stopped off at an off-licence on his way back from the bar. As long as he stayed in his room, he hoped Naboo and Bollo would leave him alone.

He collapsed onto his bead and took a swig from the bottle, wincing at the taste. He didn't understand how Vince had used to drink this stuff for _fun._

He stared around at the bedroom. One half was still decorated in vivid colours, with various posters on the wall. Mementos of when Vince had still been there. Naboo had suggested taking it all down, building a wall between them to create another room, as it was unlikely anyone new would want to share with Howard. But Howard had point blank refused, insisted that it had to be left the way it was for when Vince came back. Naboo had just sighed and left him to it. He hadn't understood. _Why is everyone so desperate to believe Vince is gone? _Howard thought angrily, taking another swig of vodka.

Half an hour later, Howard had drunk over half the bottle, and was feeling incredibly drunk and sick. His thoughts drifted hazily, as they often did when he got this wasted. It had been nice, talking to that stranger about Vince. It was the first time he'd talked about him to somebody in over 5 months. In truth, Howard wasn't even sure why he'd started telling the guy. Seeing him again today, he'd felt like he could trust him.

A small part at the back of Howard's brain suddenly sparked into life, realising something. Howard, in his drunken state, ignored it. He began to feel the sickening, heady feeling he usually got before he passed out.

_Sweet relief._

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Reviews make me happy :)


	3. Chapter 3

"Where the hell have you been?!"

**Vince **blinked, shocked at the sight of Stacy in front of him. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were out with Rick, it's only been 2 hours!"

"Never mind that, you shouldn't go out by yourself…"

"For God's sake, Stace, I'm not a bloody child! For your information I went to that bar again, thought I could talk to that guy."

"Howard, I don't understand."

"What? Why I like my freedom? Why I felt the need to get out? What?"

"No, what I don't understand is why you travelled half an hour to go to some crappy bar on the outskirts of Dalston, to talk to some drunk you've only met once!" she sighed, her tone becoming more gentle. "Howard. Talk to me. Please."

He sighed, buried his face in his hands. "I don't know. I just…I can't stop thinking about him. I feel like I can help him, as if it's my fault…"

"Honey, that's normal! You know what Dr. Frisby said, it stems from you not knowing where you fit in the world. You want to help everyone."

"Maybe…" But he didn't think that was it. He'd seen plenty of people suffering, but he hadn't had this same compulsion to help them. But that man in the bar…it just felt as though he needed him.

"Come on. it's nearly midnight; you'd better get some sleep."

"How come you are back so early?"

Her face clouded over. "Rick stood me up. Bastard."

"Twat." He gave her a small hug. "You can do so much better."

"Thanks Howard."

And with that, they said goodnight and walked into their rooms.

_

* * *

_

He was running. And he was scared.

'_I have to get away. Get back. Meant to be back before closing…' the mantra kept running through his head as he ran gasping for air. He gasped sharply as a stitch burned through his side. He stumbled, almost fell, but somehow managed to keep upright and keep running._

"_You can't run forever, pretty boy!" the voice was loud, taunting, arrogant. "I will find you. and when I do…"_

_He glanced over his shoulder and let out a small squeak of terror, ducking down behind a fallen tree. His pursuer was dressed entirely in black, a hat shielding his face. Even if anyone were to see them, it was unlikely they'd ever be able to ID the man…_

_He heard a rustle of leaves, and then a yell of anger. "Goddamnit you little bitch! Where the hell are you?!"_

_He squashed himself down as low as he could. Surely, the man could hear his heartbeat. it was so loud…_

"_I'm getting tired of this game, boy!" the man called. "Come out now, and maybe I won't be so hard on you…"_

_**Shit. Oh shit…**__ he swallowed nervously. And then he heard it. Over the pounding of blood in his ears, he could hear the faint murmur of traffic._

_Cars._

_People._

_Safety…_

_He began to crawl, oh so quietly, terrified that at any moment the man in black would be upon him. __**Please, not now, not when I'm so close…**_

_Then he heard another yell, triumphant this time. "I can SEE you…!"_

* * *

"NO!!" **Vince **sat bolt upright, gasping for air. He felt someone grab his arms and fought them off desperately.

"Howard! Howard, its Stacy! Howard, calm down!"

"Stacy?"

"Yes! Its ok, it's alright! You're at home! You're safe!"

**Vince **opened his eyes and looked around. Sure enough, he was in his bed, in his room, in his flat. Not out in the wilderness. He was safe.

Stacy gave him a hug, rubbing his back soothingly. "Hey now. It was just a nightmare, ok?"

"No it wasn't." he saw the look on her face. "I mean, it _was_, but I think it was more than that. It felt so real…"

She went very still. "You think it was a memory?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

Stacy bit her lip. She'd come running into his room at the sound of whimpering and thrashing about. He'd been terrified. If something real had actually scared him that much…she didn't want to think about it.  
"Come on, back to sleep, yeah? I'll call Dr. Frisby first thing tomorrow. Make an appointment, see if we can't focus more clearly on this memory." She saw the look of fear on her friend's face. "You have to, Howard. If you want to remember, you have to."

"Yeah." **Vince **lay back down, staring at the ceiling. He really didn't want to sleep again, in case the man in black came back for him…

* * *

"Oh God, look at the state of this place! What did he do?"

Howard could hear Naboo talking, but he didn't open his eyes. Why the hell were he and Bollo in Howard's bedroom?

"And he's passed out on the sofa, again!"

Oh right. He wasn't in his room. He must have got up in the night, found something else to drink…

"Bollo not understand why you don't just get rid of him."

"I can't do that, Bollo! Look at him! If I kicked him out he'd probably just go and collapse under a bridge and die slowly of alcohol poisoning! Or jump off the bloody thing."

"Nice to know you love having me around." Howard said sarcastically, sitting up.

"Howard! Umm…I thought you were asleep!" To his credit, Naboo did look a little embarrassed.

"Whatever Naboo. I'm going out."

Naboo grabbed his wrist. "No, Howard! This has got to stop; I don't think you've been sober in months!"

"Oh, like you care!" Howard snapped.

"Howard." Naboo's voice was gentle now. "Howard, just because he's gone doesn't mean you can't move on with your life."

"He hasn't gone. Not permanently. I will find him."

Naboo sighed. "Please Howard. Promise me you won't leave the flat today."

"Fine." Howard got up and retrieved a bottle of Jack Daniels from the cupboard and retreated to his room, ignoring Naboo's withering look.

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Vince

tapped his foot nervously as he sat in the waiting room, listening to Jazz on his Ipod. He had a weird 'love/hate' relationship with jazz. On the one hand he hated it, didn't like the tunes at all. Plus, (despite Stacy insisting it was medically impossible to be allergic to a musical genre) he swore blind that if he listened to it for too long it turned him red and made his throat swell up. Despite that however, he found it soothed him, calmed him down. Jazz to him was sort of like a small child's comfort blanket; it wasn't very nice to look at, smelled a bit, but at the same time he couldn't live without it.

"Howard? Do you want to come through?" he stood up and made to follow Dr. Frisby, then noticed Stacy had stood up as well.

"You don't need to come in with me."

"No, but I want to. I saw how scared you were last night; I don't want you to be alone."

"Thanks."

They entered the room together and **Vince **lay down on the sofa.

"So, Stacy tells me you think you remembered something?"

"Well, it was kind of a dream. A nightmare. But it felt so real; I think it might have happened…"

"Hmm, well, we'll see. Sometimes in cases such as yours the sufferer can create 'false memories', they're so desperate to remember something they make it up in their head. Are you sure this couldn't have been a film, or a story you might have read recently?"

**Vince **shivered. There was no way what he'd seen had been a film. "No. this was real, I'm almost sure of it."

"Ok Howard. I want you to relax, listen to my voice. My voice is the only thing you can hear. Let it carry you down, down, deep down. Let all other noises and anxieties seep away…"

Stacy watched as he relaxed. All the tension that had been round his eyes since the previous night relaxed and disappeared.

"Ok, Howard. Take me back to your dream. Where are you?"

He frowned. "I don't know."

"Can you see any landmarks?"

"No. it's in the middle of nowhere. I don't know where I am…" his face paled. "Oh God…he's coming."

"Who's coming?"

"The Man in Black. I need to run…"

"Why do you need to run?"

"He's chasing me."

"Why?"

"I…I don't know." He began to fidget, agitated.

"Howard, calm down. You're perfectly safe. Who is he?"

"Why aren't you here?" **Vince **whispered. "You're supposed to be a Man-of-action, why aren't you here helping me?"

"Who, Howard? Who are you talking to?"

"He's here! Oh God, I need to get away! Help me!" he began to thrash about. In a flash, Dr. Frisby was by his side, restraining his arms.

"Howard, listen to me. Focus on my voice. It's pulling you back, away from the Man in Black, back to the psychiatry room. Let yourself come back. 5…4…3…2…1…open your eyes."

**Vince **did so, blinking. He realised with embarrassment that he was shaking. "Sorry."

"Are you ok?" Stacy asked quietly.

"Yeah, I think so." He turned back to the doctor. "Well? Is it real?"

"It certainly seems it might be. I doubt your body would react so forcefully to something fictional. Howard, who's your 'Man-of-action'?"

"I'm sorry?"

"When you were under, you spoke to someone. Said they should be there to save you because they were a Man-of-action. Do you know who that was?"

"No. No, I don't." he sighed. Try as he might, he couldn't think of a name to put to the person. "Could be a friend? I don't know. Sorry."

"Ok. Well, I want you to focus on this dream as much as you can. Don't overdo it, I can tell it seriously affects you. but try and remember as much as you can, ok? I'll see you at our scheduled appointment in two days time."

* * *

"Stacy?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever miss Exeter?"

"What?" Stacey took her eyes off the road for a second to glance at him, then turned her head front again. "I guess. Why?"

"Coz it seems so weird. You left everything behind to take me up here to London. I don't even know this is where I'm from…"

"I didn't really leave it all behind though, did I? It's not like I left nursing, I just got a transfer. And I don't mind. Exeter's my home, but I do need to spread my wings a bit. Why, what's brought this on?"

"I dunno." He looked out the window. "I guess I'm just thinking about that memory, trying to work out where it was. If I knew that, I might be able to find my way home again."

She glanced at him, wondering if he would say anything else. But he was staring out the window, completely lost in his own thoughts.

"Could you drop me off here?" he asked suddenly.

"What? Howard, we're over three miles from home."

"I know. But I really need to be by myself. Please?"

She sighed, knowing he would regret it when he finally did get back to the flat complaining his feet hurt. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

She pulled over and let him get out. "Call me, I'll come and get you if you want, ok?"

"Thanks, Stace."

With a small smile, she pulled away and was soon lost amongst the rest of the traffic. **Vince **scuffed his trainers against the pavement as he walked, thinking. Maybe he should just give up; accept the life he had now and move on. He was happy now, wasn't he? With Stacy and the flat and everything? But he felt like something was missing, and it was. He sighed and looked up at the sky, as if hoping there would be answers up there.

But all he could see was clouds.

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Reviews are loved almost as much as cake x**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm back, people!**

**SisiDraig pointed out that maybe I don't need to keep writing 'Vince' in bold, so I'm gonna listen to her and write it normally. No-one else commented on it, so if anyone else finds it confusing then let me know!**

**Warning: There are mentions of dismembered bodies in here. I warn you now. I really don't like them, but I couldn't think of anything else to put in, so...**

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Howard jerked awake when the doorbell rung. He waited a few minutes, hoping whoever it was would leave, but it seemed they weren't going without an answer. He supposed Naboo and Bollo had gone out, seeing as they weren't answering either. Either that or they were too stoned to get up.

_Really, _Howard thought, _I don't know how he can have a go at me about my alcohol the amount he smokes that stuff! It's not like I have a problem or anything, I could stop if I wanted…_

He pulled open the door and blinked. Outside were two police officers, a man and a woman. They looked very uncomfortable. "Mr Moon?"

"Yes?"

"Can we come in?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm terribly sorry, sir."

"No…"

"If there's anything we can do…"

Howard stared at them, unable to take this in. A farmer in Exmouth had alerted the police when he'd found a piece of clothing washed up on the side of a river. Further dredging had revealed several 'Topshop' bags, a wallet with Vince's ID in it, and, much further down the river, several rotting human bones; which a police forensic expert had told them had only been there for about a year.

There wasn't enough to make a whole body. And the edges were jagged, like they'd been sliced through.

"He's dead…" Howard couldn't believe this. Vince couldn't be dead. And he certainly couldn't have been cut up…what kind of sick twisted bastard would do something like that?

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

Howard looked between the two, at their carefully practised expressions of sorrow and pity. _They're not sorry at all! The second they leave this flat they'll forget Vince Noir ever existed. He'll just become another name in a murder investigation that no-one remembers… _aloud, he merely said. "Thanks. You can go." They left.

He should feel something. He wanted to feel something, but he just felt numb. This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. Because he and Vince were a team.

Now Vince was dead.

It seemed obvious to Howard what he had to do now. He and Vince were two sides of the coin, two halves of a person. You couldn't have one without the other. So if Vince couldn't come home to him…

…well, he was just going to have to go to Vince.

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* * *

Howard breathed in the cold air. He had walked for what felt like hours to get here. It really was a beautiful view from up here. He was stood on the edge of a high building, just looking over the city. He supposed he would miss it. _At least I won't be a bother to Naboo anymore. _He thought. _He can get his new flatmates…_

"Hello?" he whirled his head around, and saw a young man smiling anxiously at him. The man from the bar.

"You!"

He looked surprised. "You! Are you alright?"

"Never better." He said, turning back to the view. "Why is it that whenever I leave the flat these days, you're there? It's like having a second shadow."

He chuckled carefully. "Bit close to the edge, aren't you?"

"That usually help when you're about to jump off it."

"Look, it can't be that bad can it? You're, what; 40? 45? In the prime of your life! What could be worth this?"

"I'm 33!" Howard said indignantly. "Not that it matters." He sighed. "Nothing matters. He's dead. Vince is dead. My best friend in the whole world and he's actually dead…"

"Tell me about him."

Howard smiled in spite of himself. "He was great. The best friend a man could have. Most of the time anyway, sometimes he could be a right bitch. But I loved him anyway."

He edged slightly closer. "What did he used to do? The nice stuff, I mean."

Howard smiled as a memory came to him. "My 32nd birthday. When we were kids, I threw a birthday party and he told everyone I was going to have a bouncy castle. He was afraid people wouldn't show up otherwise and I'd be upset. Only, there wasn't a castle so they all beat me up."

"Ok…"

"Then, for my 32nd birthday party, he bought me a bouncy castle. He actually remembered and bought me one."

He smiled. "He sounds nice."

"Yeah."

"What's your name?"

"Does it matter?"

"Guess not."

There was a pause. "You can't stop me jumping you know."

"But you don't really want to jump, do you? If you did you would have gone when I first arrived. You wouldn't have spent all this time talking to me…" Vince realised he had said the wrong thing when Howard took another step closer to the edge. One more step and he'd be falling... "Wait! I'm sorry, I'm sure you can jump off whenever you want! Look, tell me more about your friend, yeah?"

Howard said nothing, just stared out over the rooftops, eyes blinded by tears.

The man cast an eye over the discarded beer bottles. "You're drunk mate. Trust me; this will all seem better when you're sober. Why don't we go and have a cup of coffee or something, yeah?"

"Why? Vince is dead. What's the point of just drinking _fucking _coffee! And I'm not drunk. I haven't felt this sober in months."

"Look, I know what you're going through. Well, not exactly, but I can tell how lost and scared you're feeling. About 4 months ago, I was in an accident, right, and I lost my memory. I can't remember any of my life before that point. So believe me when I say that I have to live with a huge loss as well. Don't do this! Would Vince want you to do this?"

"Me and him, we're a team. Two halves of one whole person. We're meant to be together forever…"

"If you mean that much to each other, why would he want you to die, hmm? I think he'd want you to live, live enough for the both of you…"

Howard turned his head, eyes bright with anguished tears. "You don't know that! You didn't know him! Nobody knew him but me. Everyone else thought he was just some vain narcissist, dressing himself up in pretty clothes with the emotional depth of a puddle. But I knew him, the _real_ him! Ok, maybe he was a vain narcissist, and he could be quite shallow, but he was so much more than that! When we were kids, he tried to run away with me when I was being bullied! He stayed up all night with me once when I was sick! He always bails…bailed…me out of situations when I get in trouble! Don't act like you knew anything about him!"

"But it's like I said! Why would he want you hurt if he cared so much?!"

Howard wavered. If it was the other way round, if he were dead and Vince was the one left behind, would he want Vince to die? _No. No, I'd want him to live. I'd want him to go on living and continue to be the little electro poof I know and love…so why would he want any different for me?_

"Come on. come back from the edge, yeah?"

Howard wanted to. He really did. But the distance down to the concrete below, which had only moments ago appeared friendly and inviting, was suddenly a gaping chasm; greedy for him. "I…I can't. I'll fall."

"Hey…" out of the corner of his eye, Howard saw the man walk towards him slowly and climb over the railings, reaching for his hand. "Grab hold of me, ok? I won't let you fall."

Howard reached blindly backwards, not daring to take his eyes off the pavement below, as if by not looking at it, it could somehow suck him over the edge. He felt a warm hand grip his own and begin to pull him back, back to safety. The man helped him over the railings, tears of relief building in his eyes.

"Thank you." Howard told him awkwardly, not looking at his face.

"No problem."

"You can go if you want."

"You sure? You won't try and jump off again?"

"No. no, I'll be fine." And he meant it. Howard looked up at his rescuer, smiling sadly. As he looked into the man's face, the tiny bit at the back of his brain leapt up again, throwing things around and yelling and generally trying to get attention.

"Thanks again." He said awkwardly. How do you thank someone for saving your life?

"Sure." The other man smiled and headed back towards the door. Just then, a bigger part of Howard's brain noticed the attention seeking smaller part, and alerted his attention to it. He gasped.

"Wait!"

The man stopped and turned around, looking questioning. Howard walked slowly towards him, his eyes never leaving the man's face. He looked at him. Really looked at him. Looked past the thick stubble, past the short brown hair, past the loose fitting jeans and T-shirt, past the slight tan on his face, the lack of makeup... he looked into the big blue eyes, which were now looking a little apprehensive (He must have had his 'rapist' expression on).

Howard felt his stomach flip. He was so sure…suddenly he _knew_. _When_ he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Vince?"

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Reviews are seriously loved!

**A/N: The body in the river quite obviously isnt Vince, but I don't have any sort of plan as to who it is. I just put it in to have some reason for Howard to be suicidal, it isnt really important to the story. Just to let you all know!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ooh, nice quick update for y'all.**

**Did anyone else see Friday Night with Jonathan Ross last night? **_**Loved **_**how the psychiatrist analysing 'Vince's' writing thought he had probably had an unhappy childhood! I think most people on here always thought that was true, even though was never mentioned!**

**Plus, how hot was Julian Barratt?? Man, I swear every time he goes on that show he gets more sexy. Maybe that's just me though. He was a lot funnier than Noel as well; I think he usually is when its not joke or character related humour…**

**Anyways, I'm sure you came in here to read the next chapter, not listen to me blather on about Julian Barratt. So…yeah. Here it is!**

**Dedicated to ****perichan, ****because of not being able to read this story next week!**

* * *

"I'm sorry?" he looked alarmed.

Howard stepped towards him slightly. "Vince. Is…is that you? Tell me that's you." Howard felt like he was about to be sick. He could not believe this... The police had told him Vince was dead and yet…he was well aware that if this man wasn't Vince he had just made a huge tit of himself, but he didn't care.

The man stepped backwards a few paces. "Sorry, mate. I really am. But I'm not Vince."

But Howard couldn't get over the striking resemblance. The more he looked at this man, the more he became convinced it was him, and wondered why he hadn't realised before. _I need proof, something solid, something physical…_Howard suddenly had a flash of inspiration. "Your stomach!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Your stomach! Vince has a large red scar on his stomach, from where he fell asleep on his straighteners when he was drunk. Do you have a scar?"

Hands shaking slightly, the younger man reached down and tugged up his shirt. Howard gasped. There, vivid against the pale skin, was a long, red burn mark.

"Vince…oh my God, it really is you…" Howard honestly didn't know what to do. Half of him was screaming out to grab him and never let go, but the other half was telling him to hold back, not scare him in case he ran like a frightened animal…

"What did you say your name was?" Vince asked, voice shaking slightly.

"Howard. Howard Moon."

"But…but that's my…"

_The only thing I could remember was a name…but what if it wasn't my name?_

Vincewas beginning to feel uncomfortable. Howard was still staring at him like he was the messiah or something, and quite frankly it was freaking him out. He stared back, and Howard seemed to get the message because he flushed slightly and dropped his gaze.

"You should come back to the flat, I've got photos of Vince, and you can see the shop…"

"Shop?"

"Yeah, why?"

"No reason." _Meant to be back before closing…_

* * *

Vince sniffed the air as he entered the roomy flat above the Nabootique. He didn't recognise the smell, which disappointed him slightly. He took in the room before him. It was awful; bottles and cans and food packets lined almost every surface, the carpet was stained, and several of the pictures had broken frames from being thrown against walls.

"Here!" Howard held out a photo. "That's you. That's Vince."

Vince stared at the photo. It showed a young man with long, black hair and (in his opinion) way too much makeup for a guy. He was also wearing the most ridiculously sparkly suit he had ever seen. Despite that, his initial reaction was that the guy looked pretty good. He did like that suit…but then he thought about what Stacy would say about this guy, he was sure she'd think he was an idiot…"That's supposed to be me?" the younger man asked. "He looks like a transsexual prostitute!" he glanced up and saw the look on Howard's face. "Sorry." Despite the scar on his stomach, he was still having real trouble believing he was 'Vince'. For one thing, no matter how much he spoke to Howard, he remembered nothing. He had always sort of assumed that when he found something from his old life, the memories would return. "What about those guys you live with? …Um…Naboo and Bolly? Where are they?"

"It's Bollo," Howard said, smiling. "And they're out. Probably getting stoned somewhere."

"Right." He looked around the flat, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. He couldn't deal with this, not all at once. He needed to get away, talk to Stacy or Dr. Frisby or someone... "Listen, Howard. I really need to go, so…"

The older man's face fell. In truth, he felt that he never wanted to let Vince out of his sight again. He still felt all weak and shaky, half expecting at any moment to wake up with a bad hangover; or wake up in hospital to discover he really had jumped off that damn roof. "Go? Now?"

"Yeah, well…it's a long walk home."

"You could stay here?"

"I don't think so. Sorry." He hesitated for a second. "Look." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, scribbling a number on it. "Here's my number. Call and we'll arrange a time to meet, yeah? Maybe when your flatmates are here?"

"Great! Well, ok. I'll see you around."

He awkwardly shook the other man's hand at the door, marvelling at the touch. He would have liked to hug him; but he wasn't sure he was ready for that yet. "I'll call you." he said.

"Yeah, sure. See you around, mate."

Howard shut the door after him, and went and sat on the sofa. He sat there for about 30 seconds, just staring at the wall. Then he completely broke down, sobbing and choking uncontrollably until he could barely breathe; all the emotions he had experienced in the past 24 hours just pouring out of him in one huge rush.

* * *

Naboo gazed warily up at the closed curtains of the flat. He and Bollo had only just got back from their meeting with the Shaman council (Naboo had been using his magic carpet to pick up girls again), but he had already heard about what the police had found regarding Vince. He was dreading what he might find up in the flat. How would Howard have reacted? Cut himself? Killed himself? Drunk himself into a coma?

"Naboo not find out until we go inside." Bollo told him, gently.

Naboo started slightly. His thoughts must have been very obvious on his face. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right Bollo." The shaman nervously opened the door and began the ascent to the flat. Reaching the top of the stairs, he looked around the flat in amazement. It was cleaner than it had been in ages; the sofa cushions were straight, there were no longer empty bottles or cans anywhere, the carpet even appeared to have been cleaned and vacuumed… "Howard?" called Naboo.

He gasped as the Northerner emerged from the bedroom. Howard had shaved for the first time in ages, and he was actually wearing clean clothes. There was something else different about him too…"Um...Howard…are you ok?"

"Never better, Naboolio."

"Right." Naboo stepped forward hesitantly. "You…you know about Vince? The police did come round, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. They did. Told me about the bags and the body parts and everything." He said cheerfully.

"Oh God." Naboo said to Bollo. "He's gone completely mad. Must be the shock." Turning back to Howard he said gently. "And…how do you feel about it?"

"About what?"

"Knowing Vince is…um…dead. Having proof."

Howard laughed. "Oh God, I didn't tell you? Vince isn't dead."

"Howard, the police…"

"The police got it wrong." he said firmly.

Naboo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Howard had obviously snapped with grief. "Howard, we've been over this. You have no proof he's alive, they have proof he's not…"

"But I do have proof, Naboo! I found him!"

An unnatural silence fell over the flat. "Huh?" was all Naboo could manage.

"Vince, Naboo. I found Vince."

"Where was this, Howard?" Naboo asked carefully.

Howard let out a small, slightly pained chuckle. "Naboo, I'm not crazy despite what you may think. I didn't imagine him, or dream him up, or see a stranger who had a vague resemblance. I met him. I spoke to him."

"So where's he been then?"

"He didn't remember anything. He told me they found him by the side of the road near Exeter, about four months ago. He has no memory of anything prior to that, except his name. Well, not his name; my name. He's been living with one of the nurses, Stacy, and she's been helping him remember stuff."

"Oh my God…" Naboo was starting to realise that maybe Howard wasn't crazy. If he had dreamed Vince, it was very unlikely he would have invented a friend and a life for him. "It…it's really him?"

"It is, yeah. He's even got the Nikki Clarks scar. I just got off the phone with him, actually. He and Stacy are coming round in about 20 minutes." Howard told him, a huge grin lighting up his normally haggard face.

* * *

Naboo jumped when the doorbell rang, then wandered over to answer it. He pulled it open to reveal a pretty young woman and a young man. "Can I help you?"

"Hi, I'm Stacy. This is How…err…anyway. You must be Naboo? Or is it Bollo?"

"Naboo." He looked at the young man, who was awkwardly tugging on the hem of his oversized T-shirt. This was Vince? It looked nothing like him; the Vince Naboo knew would have died before he grew a beard of left the house without makeup. Although there was something about those eyes… "Vince?"

"Um…could you call me Howard? I'm not really comfortable with the whole name thing."

"Oh. Right. Sure." He turned around. "Howard! They're here."

Howard emerged from the bedroom, followed closely be Bollo. Vince swore sharply and stepped backwards, and Stacy quickly followed suit. "Is that a gorilla?"

"Yeah, this is Bollo. He's my familiar. He wont hurt you, don't worry or anything."

The gorilla was now looking closely at the new arrivals. "This supposed to be precious Vince?"

"Yes." Howard said indignantly.

"You never mentioned Bollo was a monkey." Vince told him reproachfully as they sat down on the sofa. "You've met me- what – three, four times now? And you didn't think to tell me that?"

Howard noticed Naboo's puzzled look. "I met him before yesterday." He explained. "I was just way to drunk to notice." It was then that Naboo realised what else had changed about Howard. He was completely sober.

"You're not drunk!" he exclaimed. Howard looked at him.

"No."

"And you're ok?"

"I have the hangover from hell, and I can't stop shaking." Howard admitted. He looked over at Vince. "But that's not important."

"Hold on, I'll get you something." Naboo went into his room and selected a thick, blue liquid. That should help with the trembling and pain, for a couple of hours anyway.

As he headed back to the sofa, he heard Vince talking to Howard. "I thought you said they didn't care? I had this mental image of some heartless prick. That guy seems alright."

Naboo felt a twinge of regret. He had been kind of awful to Howard these past few months. But, he reasoned, life had to move on. Vince wasn't the be all and end all of his existence, and it had sort of hurt him to see that he seemingly was of Howard's. Maybe he had been a little harsh… "Here you go." He said, handing Howard the jar as though he had not overheard anything.

"Cheers, Naboo."

"So…" Stacy cast around for something to say. She was still slightly suspicious of the whole thing; when her friend had burst into the flat 2 hours after she'd gotten back, tears streaming down his face, she'd feared the worst. And then he'd told her what happened, how he'd met the man from the bar again only he thought that he might be Vince… the chances were just so slim. She didn't want anyone getting hurt. "Tell us about Vince. About what he was like."

"He was…Vince." Naboo said. "He was a sunshine person, always happy. Good shopkeeper…"

"Always having to rescue Howard. Howard idiot." Said Bollo. Naboo frowned at him.

"Rescue him?" Stacy enquired.

"Yeah. He and Howard; always going off on mad adventures which usually involve Howard in some life-or-death situation…"

"Hold on now, sir!" Howard interjected. "I've saved him before too, you know. I very rarely needed saving! I'm Howard Moon: Man-of-action. I don't take any…"

"What?!" Vince said, a little too sharply and quickly.

"Sorry?"

"You just said…Man-of-action?"

Stacy gasped, remembering the psychiatry session with Dr. Frisby.

"Yeah, Howard always likes to claim he's a man-of-action." Naboo told them. "Says it all the time; he's a man-of-action and Vince is just an electro poof…"

"It really is me…" Vince whispered. "It really is me…"

"What's you?"

"Vince is him." Stacy said softly. "He's been having…nightmares. Or a memory. When he saw the psychiatrist, he went back into his nightmare. And he said: 'You're supposed to be a man-of-action. Why aren't you saving me?' He must have been thinking about you!"

Howard's eyes filled up instantly with tears, which he hastily blinked away. The thought that Vince had been alone, scared, and wondering why Howard wasn't there to save him was too awful. He couldn't stand to think of it.

"Vince? Oh my God Vince, what happened to you?"

"No." the younger man shook his head forcefully and stood up. "No. No, I can't deal with this!" he ran out of the flat.

"Shit. I'll get him." Stacy said and ran out after him, leaving a shocked Naboo and Bollo and a heartbroken Howard behind her.

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I have rice-krispie squares if you review! xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all the reviews so far! I was kind of worried about making it not a one-shot, and it's nice to know people like it in its story form!**

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"Howard!"

Vince heard Stacy's yell, but he kept running, only stopping when he reached a park and collapsed down into a bench, shaking.

"Howard! Why'd you run out like that?"

"But I'm not Howard, am I?" he asked bitterly. "That northern bloke is. I'm Vince; some freak with weird dress sense."

"It wasn't that bad…"

"That's not the point Stace! Nothing I thought I knew is true. I'm not sure I even want to **be** Vince; and then I've got those three staring at me like I'm gonna make everything right…" he looked up at her through tears. "It's too much."

"Hey!" she sat down beside him and hugged him. "You wanted to remember! This is your life, babe. You should be happy about this…"

"But this isn't my life! This is _Vince's_ life! I don't even remember being him! I always thought that when I found someone from my old life, I'd remember everything. Like a trigger, you know? But I don't. That person they were describing; that's not me. I'm not made of sunshine, I don't wear mad sparkly outfits, I don't go around saving people. I'm just a normal guy! I imagined a nice normal life. A bank manager or a teacher or something. Maybe a girlfriend. Kids. Not a flat shared with a shaman and a talking gorilla!"

"Howard…Vince. Vince, look at me." He did. "This may not be the sort of conventional life you pictured. But it **is** your life. And you seemed happy, they all seemed happy. And as for being a sunshine person; well you can be pretty happy about random stuff. And the Vince they remember hadn't been through what you have. It's only natural that you should change."

"But what if I can't do this, Stace? What if I never remember? They're counting on me to be their friend, but I'm not anymore. I'm a completely different person. Everyone is just gonna end up getting hurt…"

"You can do this. You can do anything you set your mind to. I promise." She kissed him gently on the forehead. "Now come on. We should get back to their flat."

* * *

Howard looked up when they walked back in, relief evident on his face.

"Sorry." Vince muttered looking embarrassed. "Just got a bit…you know."

Howard nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"We…er…we called the police." Naboo said nervously.

"The police?! Why?!" he looked shocked.

"Well, they thought you were dead. And you're clearly not, so…"

"Oh. Yeah, of course." Vince sighed and flopped back down onto the sofa.

They sat there in awkward silence. Vince wanted more than anything to get out of here, back to the flat he shared with Stacy, away from all this.

But at the same time, he wanted to stay. He wanted to stay with Howard. For some reason, he couldn't help feeling safe when he looked at the older man…it was all very confusing.

The silence was interrupted by a knock on the door. Bollo went to answer it, then returned with a very apprehensive looking pair of police officers. Vince stood up, nervously. One of the officers looked to Naboo.

"Good afternoon, sir. You called us? Said you had some information on the Noir murder case?"

Vince paled.

"Well, you could say that." Naboo explained. "It's not really a murder case. That's him." he pointed at Vince.

The constable glanced at Vince, then back to Naboo. "Excuse me? Would you care to elaborate? That's who?"

"That's Vince Noir. Your so called 'murder victim'. Turns out he's not actually dead after all…"

The two officers stared at Vince, each comparing him with a mental image of the 'victim'. "You are Vince Noir?" one of them asked.

"Apparently." He noticed the blank stares. "Amnesia. Sorry, I don't remember a thing prior to four months ago."

"Well that makes things difficult." The female officer said. "We would normally need to have an interview with you, see if we can find out anything about what happened to you. But if you don't remember…" she sighed. "This is gonna mean a lot more paperwork." She muttered to her partner.

"Not really the issue!" Stacy exclaimed angrily. The female officer turned slightly pink. Evidently they weren't supposed to hear her last remark. "Howard…sorry, Vince remembered running from someone. He was obviously kidnapped or something, you need to find out who by!"

"We'll do everything we can, miss. But it's hard to track someone down when no-one knows anything about them!"

Vince watched the exchange distractedly. He had a sudden feeling that a memory was lurking at the edge of his consciousness, just out of reach… "I think maybe I should stay here for a bit." As soon as he said it he regretted it, wondering if it was the right thing to do.

"Huh?" Stacy looked stunned.

Everyone turned to look at him.

Vince swallowed. It was too late to back out now. "Well, I used to live here, yeah? Must have memories of the place. Maybe if I stay here, it might help me?"

"You want me to stay too?" Stacy asked.

Vince hesitated. He did, he really did; he didn't want to be alone in a flat full of strangers. Although…

The female officer noticed his hesitation. "I think maybe it would be best if you didn't." she told Stacy, gently. "You might stunt any memories because you're a part of his 'new' life. Although we would feel better allocating an officer to watch the place. If that's ok with you?" she asked, turning to Naboo.

"Yes. Yes, that's fine!" Howard said, before Naboo even had a chance to open his mouth.

Vince looked anxiously at Stacy. He had been with her almost every day since being found. How was he going to be able to cope without her?

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When Vince woke up the next morning, the first thing he felt was an overwhelming surge of panic. Where the hell was he? Then his eyes snapped over to the bed on the opposite side of the room, which was empty; and he relaxed.

He was in Howard's flat.

Getting up, Vince padded quietly out into the kitchen area, trying hard not to wake Howard who was sleeping on the sofa. Vince had felt slightly bad about kicking him out of his room, but he hadn't exactly been comfortable with the idea of sharing.

He quietly went about getting himself a cup of tea, hoping the kettle wouldn't wake anyone up. He stood there for a bit, watching Howard sleep. There was something so…almost familiar…he suddenly realised that watching someone sleep when they didn't know you were there was unbelievably creepy and looked away, flushing slightly. He put the teabag into the mug and went to pick up the sugar.

"Hey, Vince."

He jumped about a foot in the air, almost dropping the sugar jar. He spun round to face Howard, who was now sitting up on the sofa, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Hi. Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No. Well, sort of, but its fine."

"Sorry, is it ok if I make myself a cup of tea?"

Howard frowned slightly. "Of course. It is your flat, Vince."

"Right. Yeah. But still. Do you want one by the way?" he indicated the kettle.

"Yeah. Yeah, that'd be good, thanks."

"Ok." Vince got another mug out of the cupboard and added the water and teabag. Without even thinking about it he added a dash of milk and quarter-of-a-spoonful of sugar to one cup, and lots of milk and three sugars to the other. He carried them over to the sofa and handed the one with less milk and sugar to Howard.

The older man gave him a smile of thanks and sipped it. Then his eyes opened slightly wider and he stared at Vince.

"What?"

"You made my tea how I like it."

Vince stared blankly at him. "So?"

"So; I never told you. You must have remembered."

Vince stared at him for a few seconds, processing this. Then his face split into an enormous grin. It was stupid, he told himself, getting this excited over remembering how someone took their tea but he couldn't help it. It was something.

"So, what're we going to do today? Something familiar, so I might remember something! I'm on a roll here!"

Howard laughed. "Patience, Little Man." He froze suddenly; the pet name had just slipped out without him meaning it to. He went slightly pink. "Sorry."

"S'ok. Is that what you used to call him…me? Little Man?"

"Yeah."

"Did I have a name for you?"

"No, you just called me Howard. Or some form of 'Northern Jazzy Freak', or something like that." He sipped his drink again, smiling slightly.

Vince was very put out. "I was a right git, wasn't I?"

Howard looked surprised. "No, not really."

"But I called you names…"

"Yeah, but it was more that you were…self involved than nasty. You just didn't realise. It was sort of sweet, in an annoying way."

"Oh. Thanks, I think!" they both laughed. "So, how did we meet? Was it when we moved in here?"

Howard blinked, a look of hurt passing over his face for a second. It was gone just as quickly. "Oh, we've known each other forever, you and me. Went to school together, college together, and we've worked together ever since."

Vince mentally kicked himself. He'd known that, hadn't he? Howard had said something about being kids together, up on that roof the other day. "Oh. Sorry. What about Naboo and Bollo? How the hell did that happen, living with a gorilla?"

Howard smiled. "We met them when we worked at the zoo."

Vince blinked. "Zoo? I worked in a zoo?"

"Yeah. You sound surprised."

"Well, it just seems…I dunno. Am I good with animals, then?"

"You're great with them! You can talk to them."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah. Ever since the forest with Brian Ferry, you've been able to talk to animals…"

Vince held up a hand to stop him. "Hold on, hold on. Forest? Howard, start from the beginning…"

* * *

Naboo was woken up by the sound of laughter. Grumpily, he made his way out of the bedroom towards the living area.

"…Seriously? Hell?"

"Yeah! Well, monkey Hell."

"And I got us out of it _how_?!"

"By styling the leaders hair!"

Vince clutched his sides, laughing. "Oh come on, really?"

"Yeah!"

Vince pulled at his own short, brown tufts. "You wouldn't think it to look at me now, would you? It takes me about 3 minutes to do mine."

"Do you two mind?" Naboo asked. "It's only 7 in the morning."

"Sorry, Naboo." They both chorused, then smirked at each other. With a small grin, Naboo walked back into his room. It was nice that they were making friends all over again, even though everything was different. Maybe some people were just meant to be in each other's lives…_Nah, that's a bit sappy. _He thought to himself, making a mental note never to repeat it again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vince pulled a small grimace at Howard. "Oops. He wasn't happy."

"He'll get over it."

In the wake of Naboo's interruption, both men were suddenly feeling strangely awkward. All the happy chatter and laughter had died away, and they were suddenly both very aware that technically they had only known each other a few days.

Howard got up suddenly and made for the kitchen, returning with some water and a bottle of aspirin. "Headaches." He explained.

Vince suddenly noticed that Howard was abnormally pale, and his eyes were creased with pain. "Sheesh, you look kind of rough. You ok? Umm…how much did you used to drink, exactly?"

Howard blushed. "Until I met you, I don't think I'd been properly sober in months." He said quietly.

"Oh." Vince didn't quite know what to say. What do you say to someone who nearly drank themselves into an early grave because you weren't around? It was obvious he and Howard had been really close before, but Vince just didn't feel anything about him other than he was quite a nice guy. He felt safe around him, sure, but there was no real _closeness_ anymore, and Vince suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

**

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Reviews make me smile!

**Dunno when I'll next update this, coz I'm gonna be really busy moving into my university accommodation for the next week. Might be able to get a new chapter up by Monday if I can write a good one! x**


	7. Chapter 7

A couple of hours later, Howard and Vince were still sat on the sofa. Howard had attempted to get the conversation going again a couple of times; but after getting several monosyllabic answers from Vince, had given up. The tension was very uncomfortable. They both looked up gratefully when the Naboo walked out of his room.

"Hey Naboo!" Howard said, slightly louder than may have been necessary. The silence had been driving him insane.

"Alright?" Naboo said. Vince was amused to notice that despite having seemingly literally just rolled out of bed, the small shaman was still wearing his turban. "You two going out today then?"

"Out?"

"Yeah. Howard, you could take Vince to some of the places he used to hang out. You know, the Velvet Onion, Topshop, that sort of thing."

"Oh. Yeah, good idea Naboo. You up for that?" Howard asked, turning to the smaller man. Vince shrugged.

"Yeah, sounds good. Umm…what'm I supposed to wear?" Howard and Naboo both looked at him. He looked slightly embarrassed. "Only, you know, I didn't exactly pack. And I'm guessing the stuff in my wardrobe isn't the sort of thing I usually wear, so…" he trailed off.

Howard considered. "I'm sure there's something in your wardrobe that isn't going to look like it was sprayed on." he said at last. "Come on, we'll see what we can find. You can always borrow some of my things, if you like."

"Cheers Howard." Vince said, grinning at him.

Naboo shook his head slightly and wondered into the kitchen area. Vince wearing Howard's clothes was just so _wrong_.

* * *

An hour later, Vince and Howard stood outside the Velvet Onion, Vince dressed in a pair of Howard's jeans (none of the ones Howard said were Vince's fit him. _Just how skinny did I used to be??_ He wondered) and a fairly loose black t-shirt he'd managed to find in his own wardrobe.

Howard was banging on the door. "Fossil! Fossil, its Howard Moon, open up!"

Silence.

Howard tried again. "Fossil! Vince is here!"

Still nothing.

Howard sighed, running a hand through his scruffy hair. "Typical. That's Bob Fossil all over, that is. When you actually want to see him he's nowhere to be found, the other 98 percent of the time he's trying to climb through your bedroom window…" He tried to peer through the window on the door. "It was the same thing last week; Bollo wanted to talk to him about DJ-ing, but he couldn't find him anywhere."

Vince looked around, as if hoping to see him walking up the street. "Couldn't you, I dunno, ring him or something?"

"I'm not sure he knows how to use the phone." Howard gave another knock on the door, then gave up. "Nope, it's no use. He's not here."

Vince looked around, eyes lingering on a man sat At that moment, a car drove past the deserted club with the windows rolled down, music playing.  
'…_Don't even think about it_

_Say no, go_

_Yeah, I, I'll do anything that you want me to_

_Yeah, I, I'll do almost anything that you want me to_

_But I can't go for that_…_'_

Vince was suddenly struck with the mental image of a man dancing around erotically in front of him. He shuddered. No-one wanted to see that… "What does Bob Fossil look like?" he asked suddenly.

"Why?"

"Is he fat, with sort of curly brown hair and a baby blue suit about three sizes too small?"

Howard nodded. "That's him! You remember him then?"

"I remember him dancing about in front of me to that song." Vince told him, gesturing vaguely after the car.

_When the hell was that? _Howard wondered. He was about to ask about the incident, when a shout made him turn.

"Howard!"

"Oh. Hey, Leroy."

Leroy punched him playfully on the shoulder. "You look good, man. I aint seen you not wasted for ages!"

Howard shrugged, embarrassed. "Yeah, well, you know…"

"Who's this then?" Leroy asked, looking at Vince. Howard gasped.

"Oh! God, I didn't tell you! Vince is back, he's not dead! Vince, this is…"

"Leroy!" Vince exclaimed suddenly, practically bouncing in delight.

Howard blinked. "You remember Leroy?"

"Yeah!" Vince laughed in surprise. "Yeah, I do!"

"Vince?" Leroy was gazing at him in shock. "Hey, listen man, sorry about not looking for you and shit, it's just…" he shrugged.

"Yeah, I know. It's cool, honestly."

"Wicked. Hey, you guys want to come out later?"

Howard shook his head slightly, and was about to say no when Vince spoke up.

"Not really my scene any more to be honest mate. I don't remember liking it."

Leroy looked confused.

"I've got amnesia." Vince explained.

He still looked blank.

"He can't remember anything." Howard supplied helpfully.

Leroy nodded. "Oh! Right, gotcha. I did wonder about…" he gestured around his head, to indicate Vince's lack of stylish hair and makeup. "Well, whatever. See you round Howard, yeah?"

"Yeah, see you."

"I mean it you know. It's good to see you sober. I was worried about you, man."

Howard smiled, still slightly embarrassed.

Leroy turned back to Vince. "Vince, it is _electric _to have you back! We missed you mate!"

"Thanks, Leroy." Vince waved, and then turned back to Howard. "I remember Leroy! Man, I really am on a roll! First I remember your tea, then Fossil, now Leroy!"

_Yeah, _thought Howard sadly as Vince walked off happily humming to himself, _but you still don't remember me_.

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Sorry I know it's really short, but I'll try and update ASAP to make up for it!x


	8. Chapter 8

**Love to everyone who's reviewed, this chapter's dedicated to you guys!**

* * *

A few days later when Vince woke up and went out to the kitchen, Howard was already up and dressed and reading the morning paper.

"Alright, Howard?" he asked, getting himself a cup of tea.

Howard looked up. "There you are! I was beginning to think you were going to sleep all day!"

Vince glanced at the clock. It was only 8:30am. He grinned to himself, turning away so Howard wouldn't see.

"Anyway, guess what?" Howard said.

"What?"

"It says in the paper they've re-opened the Zooniverse!"

Vince looked back at him, his nose wrinkled up slightly from the effort of thinking. "The Zooniverse? That's the zoo we used to work in, yeah?"

"Indeed it is, sir! I thought maybe, if we went there, you might remember stuff from back then!"

Vince smiled at him. Truth be told; he was feeling a bit down having not remembered anything else since that meeting with Leroy. "Genius! Worth a try I suppose!"

Howard smiled. It had been a long time since he'd heard Vince refer to anything as 'genius'. "Great! We could go today if you want!"

"Today? When did it open?"

"At the weekend. Guess I've been a bit…you know…pre-occupied."

Vince nodded. What with him coming back and trying to get over his alcohol addiction (he was having to take a remedy of Naboo's every few hours, and even with it Vince would sometimes notice him shaking, or clutching his head in pain when he thought no-one was looking. Vince didn't want to think how bad it would be for his friend without the tiny shaman's help), he could easily see why Howard had had other things on his mind than reading the paper.

"How soon can we leave?" Vince asked.

"Depends. How long do you need to get ready?"

Vince considered. "Give me half an hour?"

"Half and hour it is then, sir!"

Grinning, Vince practically scampered off to shower. The zoo had been such a major part of his life, apparently, so even though he had no memory of it he was excited.

* * *

Vince looked around the courtyard, taking in the sights and sounds and smells of the zoo. It seemed vaguely familiar to him, but then again maybe all zoos smelled the same?

"Do you remember this place at all?" Howard asked hopefully. Vince hesitated slightly.

"I don't know." He admitted. "It does seem sort of…familiar. But I can't remember anything solid."

Howard looked disappointed for a second, but quickly covered it up with a smile. "Never mind, eh? Let's just have a look around, see if anything comes to you. You used to work monkeys and small mammals; let's try there first."

"Cool."

Vince looked around him as they wondered round the zoo. He was enjoying himself, but he was slightly disappointed he didn't remember anything. He wished some of the animals were the same as had been there before; he'd spoken to a couple of them (a very weird experience – he hadn't done that since the accident) but none of them knew who he was. They'd all come from different zoos or wildlife parks. It didn't take long to see the entire zoo; it was pretty small.

"That's about it." Howard told him. Vince glanced down a pathway to their right that he was sure they hadn't been down yet. He frowned. "Vince?"

Vince set off walking. He was sure he knew this place…

When Howard caught up with him, he was stood outside a small building. The sign on the front door told them it was the medical bay. "Vince? What is it?"

"Was this the medical bay when we worked here?"

Howard blinked. "No. It was the zookeeper's hut."

Vince stared at it. "Did…we used to live here, didn't we?"

"Yes! Yes, we did!"

"I...I think I…I _remember _this place! I used to sit inside with the curtains drawn when I wanted to skive off work."

Howard grinned. "You remember that?"

"Yeah! And…I remember we used to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags!"

"Brilliant Vince!"

Vince turned and grinned happily at the older man. His gaze was suddenly caught by a figure standing about 15 meters away from them, obscured by shadows. _Is he watching us? _Vince wondered, a tingling feeling creeping up his spine. "Howard?" he asked quietly, turning back to him, "Can you see…?" but when he looked back to point the figure out to Howard, it had gone.

But Vince still couldn't shake the unnerving feeling of fear that they had been being watched.

* * *

"Did you like the zoo little man?" Howard asked later when they were back at the flat. Since remembering the hut, Vince had been unusually quiet, and Howard was slightly worried.

"Yeah. Yeah, it was good."

"You ok?"

"Fine." He said, a little too quickly.

"Vince. Vince, I know you're not ok. Talk to me. Please."

Vince sighed. "I guess I'm just…afraid. I know you said everyone liked me before; **you** must have liked me if we were friends for all those years. But from what I've been told, and what I've seen, and the little that I remember…I'm not sure _I _like who I was. I'm not sure I want to be that person anymore, but with every new thing I remember I can tell I'm turning back into him. I don't know who I am anymore, and that really scares me, Howard."

Howard looked over at the smaller man and saw he had tears running down his face.

"Hey! Come on, Vince, don't think like that!" he hesitated slightly, before putting his arm around the smaller man's shoulders and using his thumb to wipe away the tears. "Listen to me, ok? _You were a good man_. Yes; you could be vain, and selfish, and arrogant…" Vince raised an eyebrow and snorted, and Howard realised this probably wasn't helping, "…but my point is that those weren't the only aspects you had! You were also funny, and fiercely loyal to your friends! You were…honestly, Vince, you were the best friend I ever had. I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life. Does that sound like you were someone bad?"

"I guess not…"

"Exactly. And it doesn't matter about the clothes and the hair and the attitude. It's the stuff inside that counts, and that can't be taken away, sir. It doesn't matter if you're never like you used to be. You **are **Vince, all the key aspects of Vince. That's who you are. Ok?"

"Yeah." Vince smiled.

"Cup of tea, little man?"

"Yeah, cheers."

Howard smiled and got up off the sofa.

"Hey Howard?"

"Hmm?"

"If I hadn't found you I probably would never have remembered anything. And despite what I say about not liking who I was, that void was…well, terrifying. You made me see that there was something worth remembering. I just wanted to say…well…thanks."

"You're welcome." Howard said, turning his head to smile at his friend. He felt his heart jump slightly when he realised Vince had also got up and was standing a lot closer than he'd realised.

The younger man reached up and put his arms around Howard's neck, hugging him close. Howard was startled by the contact, but put his arms awkwardly around Vince's waist. He heard the younger man chuckle softly into his shoulder and instantly relaxed, enjoying the feel of Vince's arms around him. He couldn't believe he'd almost lost the younger man. Here, now, this moment, that was all that mattered… Vince pulled his head back and smiled into Howard's face.

"I mean it, you know. Thank you."

"It's ok, little man."

Vince gazed into his eyes and for one of the first times in his life, Howard didn't look away. The smile on Vince's face slowly disappeared and Howard suddenly became aware of a sudden _atmosphere_ in the flat.

"V…Vince?"

"Hmm?"

Howard was finding it very hard to concentrate. Vince's face was almost uncomfortably close to his. Did Vince realise? Surely not? Howard couldn't be reading this situation right…

Vince slowly removed one of his hands from around Howard's neck and placed it over his chest. Howard was uncomfortably aware of how fast his heart must be beating right now. Vince's eyes widened slightly and he looked distinctly unsettled as he looked back into Howard's face, his eyes combing every feature. He leant up slowly, uncertainly…

Then Vince's mobile rang, breaking the atmosphere and making both men jump. Vince dug in his pocket and retrieved it.

"Hello?...Stacy! Yeah, I'm genius!...I remembered more stuff!...no, not yet…no…yeah, Howard's good. He's here actually, if you wanna say hi…Yeah? Ok, hold on. Howard…" but when he turned, there was no-one there. "Howard?"

But the jazz maverick had gone.

* * *

Vince lay staring at the ceiling. It was late at night now, and he'd heard Howard come back about 20 minutes ago. He sighed. It was moments like this he wished Howard still slept in here. He really wanted to talk to him about what had happened…he supposed he could talk to him in the morning.

_If I ever actually get to sleep!_ He thought grumpily, turning onto his side. He tried using some of the techniques he'd been taught; deep breathing and counting sheep. But nothing seemed to work. With a small sigh, he opened the bedside drawer and pulled out the small bottle of sleeping pills he'd been prescribed. He hated taking them because he couldn't wake up from is dreams and he was afraid of the bad ones, but he was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep without them. He dry-swallowed two pills, then settled down on the pillow and felt an irresistible tiredness wash over him.

_

* * *

_

He was blindfolded.

_Vince reached up to try and remove the material obscuring his vision, and realised his hands were tied to a chair._

"_Ah. You're awake."_

_Vince felt a surge of fear and anger. "Yeah. What the hell are you playing at?" he paused, realising something. "Hey, why aren't I gagged anymore?"_

_He heard a laugh. "Oh, just try yelling for help. No-one will hear you."_

"_Where am I?"_

"_That's not important."_

_Vince struggled again against his bindings. He knew it had been a while since he was taken, but he didn't know how long. "How…how long have I been here?"_

_"About four days." Vince could hear the evil smile as the man spoke._

"_You won't get away with this! Howard'll come, he'll find me, and then you'll be sorry!"_

"_Howard Moon? What's he going to do exactly? Scat at me?" he chuckled. "Besides. He's not looking for you."_

_Vince grew cold. "…Yeah he is…"_

"_No. He's not." There was a sigh. "It's a shame really. I was hoping taking you would make him suffer as well, but it hasn't. He's just annoyed with you for not coming back. 'Unreliable', that's what he says about you. If anything, he's __**happier **__you're not around. And why wouldn't he be? You're nothing but a shallow little bitch. He could do so much __**better **__without you around."_

"_You're lying." But Vince no longer felt so sure about that. "Why're you doing this?" he asked quietly._

"_Because you deserve it!" he hissed. "You and Howard, you're the reason my life got ruined! So now I think it's only fair I ruin your lives in return…" he laughed._

"_You won't get away with this!"_

"_Oh, but I already have! I've got you! One down…"_

"_I'm sorry!" Vince begged. "Please!"_

"_Too late, Vincey!" Vince felt him grip the middle finger on his left hand. "The last year has been hell for me. I want to watch you suffer." The grip tightened on his finger. "I want to hear you scream."_

_The finger was yanked suddenly backwards._

_Vince screamed._

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Ye Gods, this is getting a lot darker than I thought it would (but I still cant resist adding a bit of Howince!). I've come up with a possible ending, but it might be a bit _**too **_**dark, so I might sort of modify it…we'll see.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Three days later.**

"_Crimpitty, crimpitty, fuck you!"_

_The crowd went wild as they came to the end of their crimp and Vince knew instantly that they had won. There was no way anyone could think The Flighty Zeus created crimp, not after that performance!_

"_That showed Lance Dior and Harold Boon, eh Vince?" Howard said in his ear. Vince turned to him with a grin and nearly bumped noses. Howard jerked his heard back slightly in alarm, causing Vince to laugh out loud._

"_Calm down!" he chuckled, putting an arm round his friend's neck in celebration. "We won! The original is always the best!"_

"_Oi! I told you that."_

_Vince smiled up into his face. "Yeah. Cheers, Howard. I don't know how I'd have got through this without you, you know?"_

_Howard swallowed. He hadn't been expecting such sincerity. "Er…you're welcome little man." he glanced over at Naboo and Bollo, "Erm…Vince?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Do you…"_

"_Vincey!" they both turned to see Bob Fossil running at them wearing a bikini. Vince had a horrible suspicion he was about to fling himself into his arms and hastily stepped behind Howard._

"_Alright, Fossil?"_

"_Vince, my baby blue boy, baby blue blanket boy. You were fantastic! I wanna book you a regular slot, once a week to do crimping!"_

_Vince grinned. "Genius!"_

"_I just want 75 percent of your earnings and you have to cook for me twice a week."_

_Vince raised his eyebrows and exchanged a look with Howard._

"_Er…yeah, cheers Mr Fossil but I don't think we'll go for that. Might, you know, look elsewhere."_

"_You wont find a better offer!"_

"_I think we'll be fine. We're just gonna…y'know…go now._

* * *

Vince woke up smiling. The crimp-off had been a good day. He got out of bed, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and glanced into the mirror. _What the hell?! _Vince felt a surge of panic as he gazed at himself. His hair! What had happened to his hair?! It was all short and brown and…

…exactly the same as it always was. Vince breathed deeply, checking out his reflection. Yep, his hair definitely looked the same as it had the day before. So why had he just freaked out? He shook his head, and his thoughts returned to the dream. That was the first time he'd had one of his 'memory dreams' where it was a happy one. He knew it had actually happened; he could just tell when his dreams were actually memories. They felt different…wait a minute. He frowned. Thinking back, he was sure that when he'd woken up he'd remembered the day with perfect clarity. Almost as if he was thinking like his old self…

Vince looked critically into the mirror again. True, he looked the same as he always had. He'd always been happy with his look before. But now when he looked in the mirror, something felt a little odd. Maybe he'd look better if he…

* * *

Vince wandered out of his bedroom, and looked around for Howard. The older man wasn't there. Vince wondered briefly where he was, then decided it didn't matter. Shrugging, he helped himself to a bowl of Frosties and sat on the sofa, flicking through the TV channels to see if there was anything good on. There wasn't. _Mind you, what do I expect at 7:30 in the morning?_

"Hey Vince." Howard said, emerging from the bathroom towel-drying his hair. He walked into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on. "Did you want a cup of…bloody hell!" he gazed at Vince in amazement.

The younger man blushed. "What?"

"Your…sorry. It's just…you've shaved. You look like…_you_ again. If you get what I mean."

"Yeah." Vince grinned and ran a hand over his smooth chin. "I just looked in the mirror this morning and decided it didn't suit me anymore."

"Good." Howard grinned. "I'm glad. It's nice to have you looking yourself."

"Cheers Howard." he hesitated. "I…had another 'memory-dream' last night."

"Oh?" Howard instantly looked concerned. Vince smiled at him.

"It's ok, Howard, it was a good one! We were crimping onstage, and there were these two tossers dressed like us…"

"Ah, the crimp off!" Howard said, smiling reminiscently. "Good times." He paused and looked enquiringly at Vince. "That's the first time you've had one of those dreams not connected to the…Incident, isn't it?"

Vince shrugged. He found it weird the way Howard referred to it as 'The Incident'. Like he thought that somehow made it better than saying 'abduction'. "I think so, yeah. Hey, D'you fancy coming to see Stacy with me today?"

"What?" Howard blinked. Vince hadn't met up with Stacy since moving back into the flat. "Are you meeting up?"

"Yeah. You should come meet her, Howard, it'll be genius."

"I…" Howard tried to swallow the hurt he felt that Vince hadn't talked to him about it first. When had he started thinking he should control Vince's time? "I'd love to, Vince."

The younger man frowned. "Howard? You ok?"

He forced a smile onto his face. "I'm fine Vince. What time're we meeting Stacy?"

"Gonna meet up for lunch." He looked anxiously at Howard. "Are you sure you're ok? You don't have to come, y'know, if you don't want to."

"I do. Really." Howard insisted, and Vince smiled looking relieved.

* * *

Howard looked up at the restaurant sign with a peculiar twisting sensation in his stomach. He wished he'd stayed at home now; let Vince meet Stacy on his own…

"Howard?"

He looked round at Vince, who was watching him anxiously.

"Are you ok?"

He forced another smile. "I'm fine."

Vince looked unconvinced.

When they entered the restaurant, the concern filling Vince's face vanished as he laid eyes on the blonde sitting at the bar. "Stacy!"

She looked round. "Vince!...oh my God, look at you!" she ran a hand down his cheek and Howard felt an absurd twinge of jealousy. "You got rid of the face fuzz then?"

"Yeah." Vince told her, looking a bit embarrassed. "It…didn't really suit me anymore."

"Oh." she looked behind him, and realised Howard was there. "Hi, Howard. How are you?"

"I'm good."

"We've been having a genius time, went to the zoo and everything!" Vince told her, sounding like an excited kid. Howard smiled to himself. He loved it when Vince got all worked up like this.

"The…zoo. Wow." Howard could tell Stacy was quite unnerved by Vince's enthusiasm. With a jolt, he suddenly realised that Vince must be more like his old self than he'd realised. Stacy was looking at him like he had gone mad. "Shall we get a table?"

"Sure!" Vince linked his arm with hers and the two of them set off for a table, closely followed by Howard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As they waited for their orders, Howard began to feel a little uncomfortable. Vince and Stacy were deep in conversation about people Howard didn't know; and the older man couldn't shake the paranoid feeling that the young woman had brought them up deliberately to exclude him from the conversation.

"…and he just wont take no for an answer! He's been following the poor girl around ever since, keeps trying to invite himself over!" Stacy was saying.

"God, poor Becky! No wonder she's freaked out!"

"That's not even the worst part; he keeps telling her he loves her!"

"No! How long has he known her?!"

"About three days…!"

Howard tuned out again. He **really** wished he was back at the flat now. Looking at the way Vince and Stacy were together made him feel…odd. The younger man looked so at ease, in a way he hadn't in ages (despite how settled in he'd become, and how like his old self.) Howard couldn't help feeling like an outsider.

"Excuse me…I'll be back in a minute. Bathroom" He told them, getting up. Vince glanced briefly at him and smiled, before turning back to Stacy.

Howard walked out the front door and leaned against the brick wall. Maybe he should just leave; walk home? Would they notice?

Possibly not; but then if they did what exactly would he say to Vince? 'Oh, sorry, I felt bad because I wasn't the main focus of your attention!'? That would go down about as well as a clown at a wake.

With a sigh, he pushed himself back up again and walked back inside. As soon as he was done eating he'd make up some excuse and leave. Then Vince could spend time with her alone...

"…about Howard."

The older man froze when he heard Stacy say his name and moved slightly to the left so he was obscured from view of the table behind a pillar.

"What d'you mean?" Vince asked.

"Well…you're changing. I mean, look at what you're wearing!"

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's a bit…tight, isn't it?"

"It was in Vince's…it was in my wardrobe."

"I'm just not sure. I know you wanted to find your old life again, and don't get me wrong; I'm thrilled you've settled back into it so quickly. But I feel like I'm losing you…maybe you should come back home?"

"The Nabootique is my home." Vince said quietly.

"Vince, look at yourself. You're becoming everything you didn't want to be when you first went to that place."

"You're the one who said I could do this! You said I could do anything if I set my heart on it!" Vince sounded angry now.

"I know! I know I did!"

"You're supposed to care about me no matter what! That's what friends are, isn't it?"

"I do care about you! But Vince…"

"**Howard** doesn't care what I'm like! He said it doesn't matter if I never become the man he used to know!"

"So why are you trying to be?"

"Because I L…" he broke off abruptly.

"You _what_?" she asked, sounding horrified.

Vince mumbled something in reply, and Howard strained his ears to try and catch it.

"What?" Stacy asked again.

"Do you know that man?"

"Who?"

"That man over…oh. I thought I saw someone. Never mind…"

"Stop changing the subject."

A sigh. "I…care about him."

"That's not what you were going to say, is it?" She asked gently. She sounded like she didn't know whether to be sympathetic or appalled.

Howard felt suddenly awful. He decided the best thing to do would be to sneak away now, pretend he got sick or something when Vince came back. That way they'd never know he'd heard…

"Can I help you sir?"

Howard looked round at the waiter. "No! No, I'm fine!" he said quickly.

It was too late. When the waiter spoke, both Stacy and Vince had looked round and seen him. Vince's face was a picture of shock and guilt.

"Howard…" he began.

"Excuse me." Howard said, moving quickly out of the door.

**

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This is sort of like the first half of a chapter, with the next chapter being part two. I sort of felt it was a good place to split it!

**Also, I WILL update 'Walking a Mile' soon, I really will! I know I haven't updated since the end of July, but this one just keeps writing itself! I will make an effort to do it soon, I promise!!**

**Reviews are loved!xxx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry! I know this has taken me forever to update! Once again I'm going to blame the huge amount of stories I have on the go! That and the Uni work. Anyways, here's another update!**

**Dedicated to everyone who's reviewed and asked me when the hell I'm next gonna update!**

* * *

"Sorry, Stace." Vince said, getting up.

"Vince, where…?"

"I need to go after him. Howard! Howard, wait!"

Howard ducked down a small side street, hoping Vince wouldn't notice.

He did.

"Howard?"

He sighed. "What?"

"Look, about what I said…"

"Leave it Vince." Howard said tensely. "Please."

"I don't…I just…ever since we…whatever that was the other night you've been weird with me."

"We don't need to bring that up. We've avoided that perfectly well the past few days, so just leave it."

"But why not? It happened, you know it happened. And, what, you expect me to forget it?"

"Yes!" Howard looked at him. "Vince, you don't know how you used to be! But I do, and I know you wouldn't want to do…_that_…with me if you were in your right mind!"

"But I think I would!"

Howard shook his head. "Trust me, Vince…"

"But it's like what you said!" Vince reached out and grabbed Howard's arm, "About the key aspects of Vince still being there! Still being me!"

"Vince…"

"Because I think this is one of them!" Vince insisted. "That first time I saw you, in the bar, I felt a connection with you! When I met you there for the second time, it was because I went back there to see if I could find you again!"

"We were friends…"

"But were we? Did I feel like that?" he looked at him. "Howard, you're the first guy I've…liked…since I first regained consciousness in the hospital five months ago. I…I feel safe with you! That has to mean something!"

"It means you're confused!" Howard insisted.

"I'm not!" Vince pulled Howard closer, until their faces were only centimetres apart. "I'm not." He breathed.

Howard could taste Vince's breath in his mouth. He swallowed, looking into the large blue eyes in front of him. _This is wrong. Pull away; pull away now _his brain screamed at him. But he didn't. Howard reached up a hand and ran a finger over Vince's cheek. The younger man's eyes flickered shut. "Vince, I…"

"Hello boys."

They jumped apart and spun round. When he saw who was standing near them, Howard reached out and subtly manoeuvred Vince so he was standing behind Howard. "What're you doing here?" he asked, a slight tremor in his voice.

"I came out for a spot of lunch!"

"In an alley? Where we happen to be?"

"Good fortune." He smiled.

"I thought you were in jail, Bainbridge."

He gave a rich laugh. "What, you afraid I broke out? No, they released me."

"Oh. Well, good for you."

"Yes, it is."

There was something in his eyes that Vince didn't like. Something…predatory.

"Who is he?" he whispered, poking Howard in the side.

"Dixon Bainbridge. He used to run the zoo back when we worked there."

"Oh. Hi."

"You don't remember me, do you?" Bainbridge asked softly.

"No. Sorry. I've got amnesia."

"Bad luck old boy!"

"Yeah, well…"

Bainbridge glanced at Howard. "So he hasn't told you anything?"

"About what?" Howard asked with a frown.

"Oh, nothing, nothing. I couldn't fail to notice he went missing last year, I just wondered if he remembered what happened."

"No, I don't." Vince said. He didn't like the way Bainbridge was looking at Howard.

"If you're sure…I should be going." Bainbridge announced. "Don't want to be late for luncheon!" He looked directly at Vince, "It's good to see you again, you…electro poof."

Electro poof.

Electro freak.

Vincey.

_Goddamnit, you little bitch!_

_Vince strolled along the pavement, a smile on his face. The rain hadn't been that bad really, so his hair wasn't ruined; which was why he was no longer annoyed with Howard. Plus; it was impossible to stay angry after the genius things he'd bought in the Topshop sale. Vince was feeling especially pleased because he'd won a fight with some gothic teenager over a black jacket that was 70 percent off._

"_Vince Noir!"_

_Vince froze. He recognised that voice. He turned slowly, and realised he was right. What was __**he**__ doing there? "Umm…Hey, Mr Bainbridge."_

"_I thought it was you! How the hell are you?"_

"_I'm…I'm ok." He glanced nervously down the street. There was no-one around. "I…I thought you were, y'know, in jail."_

_Bainbridge laughed softly. "Oh, they let me out for good behaviour."_

"_Right. Good for you. Listen, I really need to get going or Howard'll be angry, so…"_

"_Leaving so soon? But we were having such a nice chat!"_

_Something in his tone made Vince's body surge with adrenaline; ready to run. "Maybe we can catch up some other time? What're you doing Thursday?" he said, nervously backing away._

_Bainbridge smiled. "I might be busy Thursday. Maybe I'll give you a ring."_

"_Oh! Yeah, genius." Vince said, feeling stupid. Just because it was Bainbridge, didn't make him a psycho. Maybe he'd changed…_

_And then he felt a stinging pain in his neck and realised maybe he hadn't._

"_Don't fight it, Vince." Bainbridge whispered softly in his ear. "It's a sedative."_

"_What…why…?"_

"_You ruined everything for me, Vince. I've had a long time to plan my revenge. And it is going to be __**sweet**__…"_

_And then Vince blacked out as the drug overtook his system, and knew no more._

* * *

Vince's eyes widened as he suddenly remembered all this. He let out a small whimper, gazing at Bainbridge in fear. Bainbridge looked up at the sound and locked eye contact.

Then he smiled. A slow, evil smile that chilled Vince to the bone. "So close." He whispered.

"What?" Howard asked, looking from Bainbridge to Vince and back again. "What's going on?"

"It's him Howard!" Vince choked out.

Howard frowned. "What's him?"

"The person who took me. Who held me captive." Vince gazed once more in terror at the figure of Bainbridge. "It was him."

**I've sort of written some of the next chapter, but I think it might be getting a little too disturbing so I'll probably tone it down.**

**Reviews are given...erm...marshmallow krispie squares! And love from Vince :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**I promised Face-like-an-open-book that I'd update this quickly if "Inside Out" was updated fast, so here it is! I try to keep my promises :)**

**Ok, so I did tone it down a bit (sorry!), although if I'm honest I actually prefer this draft! Hope other people agree!**

* * *

Bainbridge chuckled softly and took a step closer to them. "Silly, _silly_ Vince." He admonished in a patronising tone, as if speaking to a child. "You couldn't just forget, could you? Had to bring the memories back." He smiled again. "And to think I was going to let you go…"

Howard blinked at him in disbelief. "It was you? You took Vince? But…" he glanced at the younger man, who had gone completely white, "why?"

"Why?!" Bainbridge spat, "Because he ruined my life! You both did!"

"What?!"

"Ivan the bear? Sound familiar? You two riled him up, that's why he escaped! Only, who got the blame? Me! They said I'd been cutting corners on building costs."

"You were."

"But it shouldn't have been an issue!" his eyes narrowed. "No, you two are the reason I got sent to jail. You're the reason I lost my assets and my good reputation. And you **will** pay."

"You can't hold us responsible for that!" Howard said, backing away further and trying to shield Vince at the same time, "There were others involved! What about…Oh." his eyes widened and he let out a small gasp of realisation. "Fossil. No-ones seen him for weeks…"

"Yes, Bob Fossil. My most…_trusted_ associate. Until the law came calling, and then he turned like the filthy, cowardly rat he is; laying all the blame on me. He got off scot-free from the whole affair."

"Where is he Bainbridge?"

"Oh that doesn't matter." The other man said coldly, reaching inside his jacket and withdrawing a pistol. "You'll be joining him soon enough."

"Howard…" Vince whimpered.

"It's ok Vince. I won't let him hurt you."

"And how exactly will you stop me?" Bainbridge hissed, taking another step forwards. Howard backed up again and felt himself collide with Vince. They were both up against a wall at the end of the alleyway. Howard doubted anyone walking past would even see them. They were trapped.

* * *

"Don't even think about yelling for help." Bainbridge said, pointing his gun lazily at the pair. "No-one will come to save you. And even if they do, I'll have put a bullet in both of you before they turn the corner."

"You'll never get away with this!" Howard insisted.

Bainbridge ignored him. "How much do you remember, Vincey? Hmm? How much do you remember about our time together?"

Vince shook his head. "I…I don't want to…"

"Oh, now don't deprive Howard of the memories! You should share, Vince!" he swung the gun to point fully at Howard. "Share!" he growled.

Vince swallowed a sob. "You…took me off the street. Kept me locked in a warehouse somewhere. You…" his voice became slightly hysterical, "you lied to me! You told me Howard wasn't looking for me! But that's a lie, he did look for me! He needed me!" he looked at Howard. "It almost killed him."

Howard gave him a weak smile.

"How touching." Bainbridge sneered. "But you didn't stay where you were like a good boy, did you Vince? Had to escape, try to get back to your _precious _life." he shook his head. "I'll admit, you were smarter than I thought."

"You chased me." Vince said quietly, remembering his dream.

"Of course! My revenge wasn't finished yet, I couldn't have you blabbing! I so nearly got you back too…then that car hit you."

"I got hit by a car?"

"You ran into the road. The driver got out and phoned for an ambulance…I thought I was going to have to kill both of you." he smiled. "And then you woke up and couldn't remember a bloody thing! I visited you know. In the hospital. Every day for a month, just in case you remembered anything and I had to shut you up. But you didn't, did you? I was a free man. Free to plot a new revenge."

"You still can be, Bainbridge. You don't have to go back to prison over this." Howard tried to reason.

"Do you know what happens to men like me in prison, Moon?" Bainbridge hissed softly, turning his attention abruptly to Howard. "People who led the sort of high profile life I led, socialising with chief inspectors and governors?"

"Er…no?" Howard's voice had gone all high and squeaky.

"We're hated. The other inmates viewed me as an enemy. My life was a living hell."

"Look, I'm really sorry for what happened Bainbridge but you cant do this!"

"But I can! Look around you, Moon. Who's coming to save you, hmm? No-one knows where you are, not even that little blond filly you left in the restaurant."

"You leave her alone!" Vince exclaimed suddenly. Bainbridge laughed.

"I'm not an animal, Vince, I don't kill for fun! No, we have a score to settle."

Howard wished desperately he had his mobile with him. He wasn't sure if he'd left it in the restaurant or at home, but either way it wasn't doing him much good. He cast his mind back to documentaries he'd seen and books he'd read. _Try to talk him round. Make him see sense…_

"You don't have to do this, Dixon. No-one else has to get hurt, hey? You can just let us go; we wont tell anyone we swear."

"We wont tell a soul!" Vince chimed in desperately.

Howard felt his heart lift slightly when it looked like Bainbridge was considering, but then it sank just as quickly when he burst out laughing.

"Let you _go_? Where's the fun in that? I want to make you suffer."

Howard felt Vince poke him in the side, then felt his breath in his ear. "I'm going to make a run for it."

"Vince! Don't be stupid, stay behind me!"

"Howard…I don't think he'll shoot me. He had me for months, yeah? But he didn't kill me! He wants us hurting, not dead."

"No, Vince! Please."

Vince kissed him softly on the back of his neck. "Ok. Ok, I wont."

Howard relaxed instantly. Then he realised he shouldn't have done when Vince suddenly darted out from behind him. "Vince! No!"

**BANG**

Howard felt his heart stop. As if in slow motion, he watched his friend fall to the floor, heard a dull _thud_ as his head hit the pavement and saw blood begin to pool around him.

"Vince!"

Howard made to run to his friend's side, but was held at bay by Bainbridge's gun. The other man leant down and checked Vince's pulse, before straightening and wiping his hand on his jacket.

"Calm down, Moon, he's still alive. I just shot him in the arm. He'll bleed out, of course, but for now he's fine." Bainbridge's face twisted horribly, and he looked slightly mad. "He shouldn't have made me do that. He was supposed to hurt for as long as I did. He wasn't supposed to die so quickly."

Howard looked at Bainbridge. For a moment, he saw him as he really was. A broken man, so twisted and mad that the only way he could find peace was by hurting others. Howard almost felt sorry for him.

Then he looked down at Vince again, blood leaking from his temple where he'd struck the ground and staining his hair, and all he felt was white hot rage.

"Don't try anything smart, Moon, or you'll get the same as your friend." Bainbridge smirked, the madness gone from his face now.

"How dare you, sir?" Howard said quietly. If Bainbridge had been paying full attention, he'd have realised that all traces of fear had gone from Howard's voice.

He sounded dangerous.

But Bainbridge was elated in his anticipated victory, so he paid no attention to his tone. "And what exactly will you do, hmm? You don't have the balls to challenge me. Even back at the zoo you were pathetic, hiding behind Vince Noir."

"That's not true."

"Isn't it? You never stood up to me or Fossil, did you Moon? It was always sweet little Vincey-Princey. He'd have exceeded so much further at the zoo if he didn't have you holding him back."

Howard felt his eyes watering, tears threatening to fall. It was true. Vince would be better off. It was his fault Ivan had escaped; he'd been the one to want to play jazz fusion. If they'd stuck to Vince's music it would never have happened… it was his fault Vince was in this mess…

"Howard…" Vince whimpered. Howard looked down instantly, and saw that Vince was still unconscious. But at least he was still alive.

And then Howard suddenly remembered what Vince had said earlier. What Bainbridge had told him... he looked up at Bainbridge, his eyes so full of fury that the other man actually took a step back; forgetting for a moment that he was the one with the gun.

"You told him I was better off without him. You told him I wasn't looking."

"It was worth it. You should have seen his face! That's the best part of revenge, watching them **squirm**…"

Howard dashed forwards so suddenly that Bainbridge didn't even have time to react and raise the gun. Howard lashed out and caught him full on in the jaw, causing him to fall backwards, the pistol flying out of his grip.

He recovered quickly and made a grab for the weapon, but Howard got there first. He pointed it at Bainbridge.

"Give me one reason, Bainbridge." He said coldly. "One reason why I shouldn't put you down like the dog you are."

Bainbridge reached a hand up to his mouth and pulled it away bloody. He laughed softly. "You wouldn't have the guts."

"Try me."

"Howard…"

Howard looked over at Vince sharply, and saw he was awake. "It's alright Vince. He won't hurt you. He won't hurt anyone again."

"Howard, no…"

"He deserves it, Vince. He deserves it for everything he put you through."

"If you…if you do…you won't be any better…any better than him."

"He hurt innocent people. He hurt _you_. That makes me better than him."

"Howard…please. Don't lose yourself…for…him. Not…not worth it. Howard, please…for me."

As Howard watched, Vince's eyes closed once more as unconsciousness claimed him. Howard's hand began to shake. He blinked tears out of his eyes as he struggled to hold the gun steady, to keep it pointed at Bainbridge. Then he lowered it abruptly, and allowed the tears to fall. "I'm so sorry, Vince. I'm so, so sorry…"

Bainbridge made a sudden lunge for him, catching Howard off-guard. The two men fell to the floor, fighting over the pistol. Bainbridge had the upper hand, then Howard, then Bainbridge again…

**BANG**

They froze as the gun went off. Howard felt as though time was standing still, as though he and Bainbridge were the only ones still moving. He stared at Bainbridge, eyes wide and horrified, as the gun fell to the floor. Bainbridge looked down, almost in shock. Then he smiled at Howard.

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Is it weird that I just depressed myself slightly by reading back over this and realising I wrote that Bainbridge took Bob Fossil weeks ago, and yet no-one missed him? Never mind.

**Reviews are loved!**


	12. Chapter 12

**The internet at uni is going to be down as of tomorrow morning, so no updates after this one (on any of my stories) until at least Tuesday! **

**Dedicated to Violence4 for breaking her lurking habits and leaving a brilliant review :p**

* * *

Howard sat on the uncomfortable hospital bed, feeling completely numb. He hadn't wanted to come to cubicles, he'd wanted to stay with Vince, but the doctors were worried about a gash on his forehead and had insisted on him getting checked over.

A nurse came in and smiled at him. "Ok Howard, The cut looks clean so I'm just going to stitch it up for you."

"Do you know how my friend is? Vince Noir?"

"I don't I'm afraid, I can have someone check for you?"

"Thanks, I…"

At that moment the curtain was drawn back and a man walked in. "Mr Moon?"

"Yes?"

"My name's Doctor Foot, I'm the doctor who's been working on Mr Noir."

"How is he?!"

Dr Foot smiled kindly. "He's out of the woods. We're very hopeful he'll regain consciousness within the hour."

"Oh thank God." Howard breathed a sigh. "Thank you, doctor." he hesitated. "And…Bainbridge? Do you know about him?"

"I'm afraid I cant tell you."

"_Please_! I need to know, is he…did I…?"

Dr Foot looked at the nurse, who shrugged and carried on stitching Howard's wound. "He's…stable. That's all I can tell you."

Howard breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to be a killer, even if it was Bainbridge. The feeling of complete terror and despair that had overwhelmed him when he realised he'd shot the other man made him almost want to black out when he thought about it. If Vince hadn't stopped him before… "Thank you."

"The police are outside. Are you up to speaking to them?"

"What? Oh, yes, of course."

A minute later, a policewoman entered the cubical. Howard thought she looked very familiar and frowned for a moment, trying to place her. Then it clicked. She was one of the officers who had told him they found 'Vince's' body.

"Hello again."

She looked away awkwardly. Howard couldn't blame her, it must be pretty awkward telling someone their friend was dead only for said friend to show up the same day.

"Are you up to giving a statement sir?"

"Yes. Yes, that's fine."

* * *

"_Vince…_"

He could hear the voice calling him, as if from a million miles away.

"_Vince, I need you to open your eyes for me…_"

He could hear beeping and shouting. Where was he? He'd been in the restaurant with Howard and…no; he'd been in the alley...

Howard.

Bainbridge.

The gun…

Vince's eyes snapped open and he stared around. He was in a hospital bed. As he looked around, a nurse walked in. she grinned when she saw him watching her. "Ah, you're awake!"

"What happened?"

"You just relax, sweetheart, I need to go and fetch a doctor."

Vince lay there staring at the ceiling, trying to piece everything together. He was drawn out of his musings by the nurse returning, followed by who Vince assumed was the doctor.

"Hi Vince, I'm Dr Foot. How are you?"

"I'm…fine."

"Good. No nausea, dizziness?"

"No…how's Howard?"

He smiled. "He's fine. He had to have stitches, but other than that no problems."

"Can I see him?"

"I think he's giving his statement to the police right now…you have another visitor though. Stacy?"

Vince's eyes lit up. "Genius! Can you let her come in?"

"I don't see why not. Tell Ellen here if you start to feel in the slightest bit odd, ok?"

"Yeah."

Dr Foot smiled and left the room. A minute later, Stacy walked in and hurried over to the bed.

Vince grinned weakly. "Hey, Stace."

She smiled back, tears glistening in her eyes. "Hey, you. You want to be careful or I'm gonna start thinking you've got a hospital fetish."

Vince chuckled. "Not likely. I've hated hospitals ever since I broke my arm when I was 7. It hurt like hell, and the doctors kept prodding it anyway!"

Stacy laughed, then froze suddenly. "You remember that?"

"Yeah, why…oh." he blinked. "Oh." he looked up at her. "I remember."

"You've got your memory back! Oh, Vince, that's fantastic!"

"Is it?"

Her smile faltered. "What do you mean?"

"I like you Stacy. You're a really good mate."

"Ok…" she looked confused, still unsure as to why that would mean his recovery was a bad thing.

"I remember what you said in the restaurant. About me changing. Well this," he gestured to himself, "is me. Do you think we'll still be friends?"

"Oh, Vince…what I said before, that came out wrong."

"Because I know you, Stace. Guys like me…we don't exist in your world. Guys like 'Howard', how I used to be, exist in your world. People who wear baggy shirts and have facial hair and don't wear makeup…"

"Vince." she smiled, putting a hand to his face. "I am really sorry for what I said before. I'm happy you've got your memory back. I'm happy you're the man you used to be. And I'd really like it if we could still be friends."

Vince grinned. "I would too."

She smiled, casting around for conversation. "So…you remember everything?"

"Not everything. And, to be honest, my memory of the past month or so is very sketchy…"

"Vince?"

"What?"

"I think I should go. You've got another visitor."

"Huh?"

"Howard's just outside. I saw him."

Vince felt his heart leap. _Howard_… he thought about how the older man had pushed him behind him when he'd first seen Bainbridge and felt like he wanted to cry. Howard had tried to protect him. He cared… "Send him in. Thanks, Stacy."

"No probs."

She left, and 10 seconds later the door burst open again and Howard walked in. he walked over to the bed and laid his hand against Vince's cheek, before bending down and kissing him softly on the forehead.

"I'm so glad you're ok…" he murmured.

"Likewise." Vince replied, attempting a cheeky smile.

Howard rolled his eyes, grinning through unshed tears.

"When he shot you, I thought…"

"I know."

Howard sat next to the bed and took Vince's hand. The two friends sat in comfortable silence like that for ages, until the nurse came in and said he had to be moved to a ward.

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Reviews make me happy! Especially since I'm going to go mad over the weekend not being able to check my emails… xx


	13. Chapter 13

**Whoo, I'm back! And earlier than expected! Gotta love the guys in IT :)**

* * *

Howard glared moodily at his newspaper, not really reading anything at all. Two weeks. Two weeks since Vince had been discharged from hospital, and he was already back to his old ways; going out almost every night. It was as if the whole sorry incident had never even happened…

"Howard?"

Howard looked up and blinked. "Wow." he muttered, then flushed scarlet. "I mean…um…you look nice."

Vince did look good. He was dressed in a black jacket and jeans, with natural makeup. A very simple, casual outfit, but it was one of the first times since his recovery that Howard had seen him in anything other than his 'futuristic prostitute' look.

Vince smiled, seemingly not noticing the other man's embarrassment. "Cheers Howard."

"Where are you going?" _This time?_ he thought, slightly bitterly.

"Dunno. You tell me."

Howard frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well…I'm going out with you. Just to the pub or something, I'm not gonna make you come clubbing or anything, but…" he trailed off with an embarrassed shrug.

"Right. Pub." Howard hesitated. "Why?"

"Huh?"

"I thought you hated hanging out with a 'jazzy freak' like me?" Howard knew this was unfair, he was quoting something Vince had said almost two years ago, but he didn't like being messed around. Ok, so _maybe _Vince didn't remember almost kissing him, he had forgotten quite a bit, but that didn't make it hurt any less when he ignored him.

"Howard…" Vince looked around the room as if searching for his answer, "you're the only person who stood by me. The only one who cared enough to keep looking." He gave a bitter laugh. "The other night when I was out with Leroy, this guy asked me if I'd been on holiday, because he 'didn't think he'd seen me around for a while'!"

"Oh Vince…"

"It's fine." He said, a little too quickly, "I don't care about what they think about me."

"Yes you do."

"Ok, I do." he looked up. "but I care more about what you think of me."

Howard blinked, embarrassed. "Right."

Vince shuffled nervously. "Anyway…shall we go?"

* * *

Howard couldn't help but notice that Vince was unusually quiet. He glanced over at his companion and saw he was clutching his arm, a peculiar expression on his face.

"Vince? Are you ok? Does your arm hurt?"

"What?" Vince looked confused, then followed Howard's gaze to where he was clutching his arm. "Oh." he let go quickly. "No. it's fine."

"But something isn't."

"Everything's genius, Howard. Honestly."

Howard decided not to push him. He'd already been through enough without Howard bugging him all the time.

"Do you blame me?"

Howard looked at him, appalled. "What?!"

"Coz you've barely spoken to me and you did get hurt and you were drinking and it was all my fault…"

"Vince! Of course I don't blame you. I could never blame you for anything!"

Vince looked at him quickly, studying his face. Then he smiled. "Ok. Good. I don't like it when we don't speak."

Howard paused, surprised. That was news to him. It was always he, Howard, who had made the first move after a massive fight, offering Vince a cup of tea, apologising, and trying to ignore the massive smirk on his friend's face…

He jerked his head up at the sound of Vince's terrified yell.

"Watch where you're goin' darlin'!" a drunken man yelled angrily, staggering away. Evidently he'd just come from a side road and walked into Vince. The younger man stood stock still, breathing heavily, eyes wide and frightened.

"Hey! Hey, it's alright, it's ok!" Howard put his arms around the smaller man, and realised he was trembling.

"I…I thought he was…Sorry Howard. God, you must think I'm a right special case; scared by a sodding drunk."

"Vince, you've been through a terrible ordeal. You cant possibly expect just to go back to normal."

"Maybe…"

"Definitely." Howard tilted Vince's chin up so he could look at him. "Still getting scared by it, or having nightmares, doesn't make you weak. Understand?"

"Yeah. Cheers, Howard."

"No problem."

Howard suddenly realised that their faces were very close and he still had his arms wrapped around Vince, and hurriedly let go. Now that Vince was back to normal he hadn't mentioned the 'almost kiss', and Howard was grateful. That was the last thing he needed, Vince saying something like 'God, can you imagine? I must have had brain damage or something!'. Howard liked to think he still had some pride left.

"Do you want to go back to the flat?"

"No. No, I'm fine. Lets go out."

"You know, I don't really feel like it anymore. I might just head back, crack open some wine or something. Watch telly."

Vince smiled lightly. "Well, if you're going back the least I could do is keep you company!" He linked his arm through Howard's. "Thank you."

"What for? I'm spoiling your night at the pub remember."

"Yeah. Thanks, Howard."

"You're welcome."

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Only one more chapter to go now! I'm gonna miss writing this! Love lovely reviews :D


	14. Chapter 14

**Oh my God!!! I saw The Mighty Boosh Live last night (or Wednesday night, depending on when this fic gets posted!) and it was so amazing!!! One of the best nights of my life! They are both so much hotter in real life than on the telly! (And they're pretty hot on telly!)**

**Chavese - officially the best accent ever! **

**And Julian Barratt looked at me! He **_**actually **_**looked at me! I swear I nearly died. We had eye contact for about 5 seconds, then I mouthed 'I love you' at him and he looked a bit scared and looked away…sometimes I'm a bit crazy…But still, the eye contact was there!WAS SO AMAZING! Still on a Boosh high!Anyway, now I've expressed my delight (which may be a **_**little **_**OTT, but I have a major obsession. Not many people understand it lol) I'll give you the final chapter! Enjoy!**

**Dedication: ****Jaquettie. Because you know who you are, when you're you.**

* * *

Vince sat on the sofa, sipping the glass of wine Howard had just handed him.

"What do you want to watch, little man?" Howard asked, peering at their DVD collection.

Vince shrugged, then realised Howard had his back to him and couldn't see the gesture. "Dunno. You pick."

Howard looked round, concerned. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"You've never let me pick a DVD before, in case I choose one of my jazz films. This isn't like you, Vince."

"Whatever Howard." he put down his glass with slightly more force that was necessary, causing the wine to slosh over the side and onto the table. "I don't feel like a film anymore anyway. I'm going to bed." Howard grabbed his arm to stop him leaving. "Get the fuck off me."

"Not until you talk to me." Howard reached out and squeezed his shoulder gently. "it's not healthy to bottle everything up."

"Who says I'm bottling stuff up?!" Vince exclaimed furiously. "This is me, this is what 'Vince Noir' is all about. It's what I was like before! I go out and I get smashed and I dress in stupid outfits, because if I do that…" tears suddenly sprung up out of nowhere, and the anger drained from his eyes. "…because if I do that, it's like it never happened. Like Bainbridge never took me. Like I never left." he lowered his head and his voice became so quiet Howard had to strain to hear him. "Like people never abandoned me."

Howard was at a loss as to what to say. He put his arms properly around Vince and hugged him close as he sobbed his heart out on Howard's shoulder. "Oh, Vince…" he rested his cheek on top of Vince's head, "why didn't you say all this sooner?"

Vince shrugged. "I…I thought it was stupid."

"Vince, it's not stupid." pressed his lips softly to Vince's forehead. "You shouldn't have had to go through this. If I'd only driven you to Topshop in the van that day…"

"He'd have gotten me on another day. Or worse, gotten you." Vince looked right into his eyes, and Howard felt his heart skip. "I don't think I'd have been able to be as strong as you were. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"The same as always, only with less nagging about it?"

Vince let out an involuntary chuckle, which made Howard smile. "You're an idiot Howard."

"Yep."

Vince reached out and rubbed his thumb across Howard's cheek, drying tears the older man wasn't even aware he'd shed. "But you're my idiot."

The smile faded from Howard's face. He looked uncertainly at Vince, and saw he'd gone slightly red. "Vince…?"

The hand didn't move from his cheek. "Howard…you know when I was still trying to remember who I was? Um…well, when I…"

"You two in?" Naboo's voice sounded from the stairs. Vince stayed looking into Howard's face before slowly withdrawing his hand and sitting back down.

"Yeah, Naboo, we're up here."

Howard barely listened as the shaman and Bollo came up and began talking about Saboo being a tit to Tony Harrison, or about Tony Harrison, or something. His mind was on the moment he had just had with Vince. He wasn't sure what was going on.

**

* * *

**

Two weeks later

Vince cried the day Bainbridge was sentenced. He'd refused to come down to the courthouse, but the whole trial had been closely followed on television so he'd found out the verdict before Howard got home. He'd found him curled in a foetal position on his bed, crying bitterly.

Howard sat gingerly down next to him and laid a hand on his arm. "Vince? Hey, come on little man, it's over. He's been put away for life. You don't have to worry anymore."

"I know." Vince sniffed.

Howard hesitated, then lay down beside him and put his arm round him. Vince instantly rolled over so that he was facing into the embrace and snuggled against Howard.

"What happened?" he asked once he was settled.

"Well, based on your's, mine, and Fossil's evidence, there wasn't really any other outcome. He pleaded for insanity, but it was rejected." he clenched a fist. "That bastard knew exactly what he was doing."

"How is Fossil?"

"Same as ever."

Bob Fossil had been found about 3 days after Bainbridge was arrested. He'd been in an abandoned warehouse in the country, potentially the same place Vince had been kept. Rather disturbingly, he'd seemed almost disappointed to be rescued from Bainbridge's 'torture chamber'.

"It doesn't really make any difference, does it?"

Howard frowned, concerned. "What do you mean?"

"So he's in prison, big deal. That doesn't change the fact that he did it. I…I can still remember what he…what he did to me."

Howard bit his lip. Vince was still insisting on living his 'party lifestyle', despite what he'd admitted to Howard about why he did it, and Howard had privately hoped that once Bainbridge was behind bars he'd calm down slightly and see he didn't have to try so hard. Seemingly it wasn't going to work like that.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Vince said, shuffling a little closer to Howard. Almost his entire body was pressed against the older man now, and Howard was surprised to realise he didn't mind. When had he stopped disliking people touching him? Or was it just Vince he didn't mind…?

* * *

Howard woke the next morning to realise he was still lying fully clothes on top of Vince's bed. The two of them had lain there for hours, before falling asleep. Glancing down at Vince, Howard saw his brow was creased into a slight frown. He considered for a second about waking him up, then decided against it. Vince hadn't slept anywhere near enough for weeks, and Howard wasn't going to disturb the one good night's sleep he'd seen him have.

He carefully untangled his arms from around his friend's sleeping form and walked out into the kitchen, switching on the kettle. He wished he knew a way to make him feel better…

Unbidden, the memory of that 'moment' a few weeks ago swam into his mind. What had Vince been going to say to him? Whatever it was, he hadn't mentioned it again.

It probably wasn't about what he'd said in the alley, about 'liking' Howard anyway, he reasoned. He was fooling himself. As if a sparkly sunshine person like Vince could ever be attracted to a dull, jazzy, person like Howard.

Although Vince had been far from sunshine and sparkle lately, despite what he wanted the world to think.

"Hey." Vince emerged, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Howard smiled at him.

"Hey. You hungry?"

"No, thanks Howard." he noticed Howard watching him with a concerned expression. "Relax, will you? I'm not turning anorexic or anything. I'm just not hungry."

"Ok." Howard said, turning back to the kettle. "Tea?"

"No thanks."

Howard made himself his drink, very aware that Vince was still hovering around in the kitchen.

"You staying in tonight?" Howard asked hopefully.

"No. I'll probably go out with Leroy."

"Right." Howard bit his lip, determined not to say anything. "Why?" it took him a couple of seconds to realise he'd spoken anyway, and mentally slapped himself.

"Because it's fun."

"No, it isn't."

"Piss off Howard. Nothing means anything, so why does it matter what the fuck I do?"

"What do I have to do?"

Vince blinked. "What?"

"What do I have to do to make you stay in with me?"

Vince stared at him for several seconds, then looked away. It could have just been the light, but Howard thought he'd gone slightly pink.

"Stop being weird, Howard. You're such a freak sometimes."

"Don't push me away, Vince. Please." Howard could still remember Vince's insistence that he didn't like it when they didn't speak, yet here he was trying his hardest to push Howard out of his life. It didn't make sense. For a second, he thought Vince was going to yell at him, but then the younger man's face seemed to droop slightly and he looked tired.

"I'm sorry, Howard. I don't mean to. I've just got a lot of stuff to work through."

"I understand that Vince, but…"

"Not that stuff."

Now Howard knew Vince had gone pink. Ah. He took a sip of his tea. "You do remember then."

"What?"

"You know what. You remember, I take it?"

"Um…yeah."

"I…see." so that was it. Vince was awkward about the fact that he'd told Howard he fancied him. "Vince, it's no big deal, really. I mean, you were ill, you weren't yourself."

"Right. Ill. Yeah."

"Weren't you?"

Howard could have kicked himself. Why was he continuing to torture himself?

"Um…No."

"Exactly, I mean…wait, what?"

"No, I wasn't ill. I mean, I was, but…what I said to you in that alley, before…" he swallowed nervously, "…before Bainbridge showed up. I…I meant it."

"You…" Howard stared at him in disbelief, more than half expecting Vince to start laughing and say it was all a joke.

"I just…I still want us to be friends Howard. I know you would never…"

Howard put down his mug and pulled Vince into a hug. "We'll always be friends, Vince. Nothing could change that."

"Yeah?" Vince looked up at him with a hopeful smile and Howard felt a rush of affection for him.

"Actually, that's not true. I think maybe this might."

Vince looked confused for a split second, before Howard leant down and kissed him softly on the lips. Howard instantly felt an explosion go off inside him, and wondered what on earth had made him wait so long to do this. He pulled back and looked down at Vince anxiously. The younger man had his eyes half closed and a dazed expression on his face.

"Vince?" he received no response, so he laid a hand lightly on his friend's shoulder. "Vince?"

Suddenly, Vince launched himself at Howard and kissed him full on, with such passion that Howard stumbled backwards and fell onto the sofa, pulling Vince down with him. He felt Vince's tongue against his lips and froze. Vince instantly pulled back, looking almost surprised at what he'd just done.

"Wow…um…I'm sorry, I just…you…"

Howard did the only thing he could think of to stop Vince rambling and kissed him again. Not with quite the passion of Vince's kiss, but still enough to warrant a small moan from the younger man's throat which made Howard incredibly glad he wasn't standing up, because he felt sure he'd have fallen over if he had been.

After several minutes, Vince pulled away and nuzzled his face into Howard's neck. "You're an idiot." he said softly.

"Thanks." Howard replied. "Why?"

"What the hell took you so long to kiss me?"

"Er, excuse me, I don't remember you kissing me before now either!"

"Yeah, well…wouldn't have been any good for my reputation, would it?"

Howard mock-pouted. "So, what about your reputation now?"

Vince lifted his head up and looked Howard in the eye. "It doesn't matter." he hesitated. "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"I hate my outfits."

"What?"

"Some of them are so tight and uncomfortable, you know? I mean, a lot of them are genius, but…" he shrugged. "And I don't like going out every night. And I don't want my hair to be black again, I want it like I had it back at the zoo, and…"

Howard laughed and kissed him again. "Vince, do whatever makes you happy. I love you whatever you look like, and however you act. Just…as long as its because that's what you want to do, not what other people expect."

Vince grinned and nodded. "Ok."

Howard lay down on the sofa and Vince nestled in next to him. He smiled. Vince still had a lot of issues to work through, but they would manage it.

Together.

....

It was only about 20 minutes later, when Howard had drifted back to sleep, that Vince realised he'd told him he loved him. He looked down at Howard's face, and smiled.

Suddenly, it all meant something again.

**

* * *

**

Finished! Not 100 percent happy with this ending, but it's the best I can come up with, so I hope you guys like it!

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed (and who reviews this chapter), you guys are great!**

**I'm seriously gonna miss this story now it's done, I really enjoyed writing it!**

**Love! xx**


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